My Mind on the Web

2005-06-05T21:13:00.000-04:00

I am watching Family Guy and I smile.

Everyone around me are doing interestingly. I just watch them entangle within eachother. The Tension... The Love. it's so human that it's nice. It feels great to exist. To know that you are helping society. At work I saved this man from burning pain. I was walking around doing my natural Bus Boy Job Duty. Which is walking around picking up trash, clean tables, pick up plates, etc etc. The usual. Well while I was walking to table B4 this was pooring some tea to this other guy across the table. But this old guy holding the tea was so skinny and baggy that he told the lipsuctionist to suck all the fat and bone marrow. Damn he was sincere and nice looking like he wouldn't even kill his worst enemy for food when they were stranded on a deserted island and he had a knife in his hands. AHH!! Why am I going so... ADD?? So this old guy dropped the kettle tea holder thing BUT I WAS THERE TO SAVE HIM FROM UTTER BURNING PAIN. I caught it. And it made me a little hero for the moment that lasted 2 minutes. But it was nice. Cause... You know what will happen if I hadn't been there. That guy would have suffered SEVERE burns and would probably sue us or his dear friend who poored it on him from something they look like they've been arguing upon....

GOODNIGHT!

2005-05-15T20:17:00.000-04:00

I haven't updated in a while and I am sorry... to all those who read... and those who read are small in numbers... i.e. my friends.... The sadness the Pain. Anyways... What happened lately was April 30th through May 1st was Anime Boston. Yes Anime Boston. It's in Boston about anime. It was a great time. I went with Deedee, Tali, and Dan. And saw Jacqui which was really amazing. The costumes were cool. The anime was great. The features or whatever events were cool and the dealer room was nice but expensive. It was fun. Okay another time and another handful of days pass by. Schools eh... Friends are nice. I wish I was better. I am really tired. I hate livejournal and I feel really inclined to switch to it. Because then I would probably update more. But probably not. I want to... But I don't. Conformity. EVERYONE I mean EVERYONE has one. It's horrible when you're the only one left out. I feel like everyone chose someone for their team except me. I tell people I Blog and they turn the other way saying "HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA BLOGGER!! WHAT A LOSER!!" Okay... maybe not that harsh... BUT THEY DO SNICKER!!!! I hear them... HEAR THEM!!! I wish I was more creative or more energetic but I cannot. If I was though... I would write better.

GOODNIGHT! ANd let those Nuclear Reactor Plants be a sign for Death.

ONE.

2005-04-25T16:08:00.000-04:00

William Beckett lead singer of The Academy Is...

Patrick Stumph lead singer and guitarist of Fall Out Boy.

So... yesterday.. April 24 2005 was a really COOL day. First I got off work early and then I went to Boston to see a concert with Jeremy, Nathan, and Alex (MAN, YOU'RE TALL). Anyways... IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! It kicked ass, the concert that is. It was at the Avalon. The first band up was The Gym Class Heros who were really chilled. I enjoyed their music it kicked Bum. Second was The Academy Is... which is yet another AWESOME band I got the lead singer's, Billie's, autograph which made we happy. Next was Silverstein which had crazy... and I mean CRAZY mosh pits. My glasses were scratched and screwed up in the end but they played very well. And last was Fall Out Boy who Kicked so MUCH Ass and had memorable Mosh Pits. It was crazy and insane and most of all a shit load of fun. I mean wow. WOW! FUN!!

Note: Those above are actual pictures from the show but I did not take them =( so I stoled them! =).

2005-04-12T20:47:00.000-04:00

I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul but I'm not a solider.

I gotten Honor Roll in my report card. I am so proud of myself. I am happy and sober. I am a koala but I am not. I am everything and yet I seem like I am not particularly interesting. I make turtles fly but I make them fall. I make illogical logic and I can't help it. I make things come alive but they die in only 2 seconds. I make people happy but I have the power to make them sad. I wish I could change people but I can't. I should stop trying to but I can't. Everyone is converting to "LiveJournalism" It makes me feel kindof insignificant. If someone is reading please comment to know I can atleast put posts up. Tommorow is the day of silence and I won't talk, wouldn't that be nice? I make human pinatas and i sell them to children.

If I am not a solider then I should not have a soul.

If there is a draft my mother says she'll send to Canada. But I won't go. I'll fight.

Moral Question:
You're the best doctor in the hospital. You're a neuro-surgeon. Wow Look At You Big Money Maker. One day a little boy came and he got shot in the brain but he is still alive. You need to remove the bullet and you are the only one with that skill. But your boss tells you that you must preform another operation on the Mayor who will give the hospital good publicity but the mayor came in later. Will you A) Treat the Mayor knowning the fact that the boy will die? B) Operate on the Boy disregarding your order saying your collegues can handle this even though they cannot. or Something entirely different?

I would operate on the boy.

2005-04-07T22:49:00.000-04:00

Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII Advent Children.

BOOYA GRANDMA!!

2005-04-03T23:02:00.000-04:00

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS!?!?! Rabies... RABIES!! The foaming at the mouth virus of internal death.

Let's get a recap on the weekend....
Friday: Cotillion night. A very fun dancing, proper, and food night. It was really fun! But they could have played better music.
Saturday: Came home from after party around 10-11 and slept until 4.
Sunday: Work and SAT class.

Weekends even out. And the Cotillion was the highlight of it all.

Want to see me? THIS IS ME Don't I look goofy!?!?!

Choo Choo!

2005-03-10T19:58:00.000-05:00

Edward Vs. Greed

Ed and Den.

2005-02-16T17:38:00.000-05:00

Sorry I died.

I kindof don't want to keep posting but another part says... I kinda do. We'll see.

2005-02-06T20:05:00.000-05:00

This is me!!! When I thought the camera was stealing my soul. And you cannot see my face. And I really like this picture. Cause... You cannot see my FACE!! WOOT!!

Blah blah.

2005-01-23T20:33:00.000-05:00

Paranoia Agent.

2005-01-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry but The Kitten wants you to let THe Kitten scratch out your eyes so IT can use them as IT's Tennis Balls. Now don't be shy or we'll cut your head off. What the Kitten says (Or meows) is Law. And Law is well.... Law. They are not created so you can think twice about breaking them. Don't worry it won't bite, I promise.

THe Mid Year Exams are over. And during that period of kindof studying I read a book. It is called the THeif Of Time by Terry Pratchett. Here is a quote from the book. ENJOY:

In the second scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised a story is written concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, approached Wen and spake thusly: "Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?" Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!" And Clodpool went away, satisfied.

Enjoyment? Did it surge through you like Lightning CAFFIENE!? Well it did to me. Remember that even with a nougat you can have a perfect moment.

2005-01-05T20:24:00.000-05:00

It's near mid-term exams in my school. So teachers cram everything into you. I have before the exams 5 tests. 2 from the same class. 1 huge project which is on the Duckbill Platypus (I can't believe I chose this animals. It's cool but not much is on it. Ah!!). Reading. Homework. Etc.

2005-01-03T16:02:00.000-05:00

THat is the Deatb Of Rats from Discworld. My favorite Series.

And I'm deeply disturbed and I'm deeply happy.

Today I am going to focus on something... Weird... Called Theories. My little theories. There is going to be 2 this time but shall build later on I hope...

Theory Number One:
Now everyone know what dwarves are. They are kindof little people that have beards on either sex so you cannot tell which sex is which. They work in mines of course. They have there axes and what not. They have there enemies which are Trolls. Trolls are well... simply put... moving rocks. So when a dwarf is mining he needs to mine out minerals, gold, and what not but when you hit an ear of a troll you instanly... die... cause you hit the ear of something 10 times stronger than you. Now back to my theory... There are such things as dwarf Gods.Dwarfs were not naturally religious species, but in a work where pits props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for Gods as sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight pound hammer it's always nice to be able to say some blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with there hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "oh, random fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!"

Yes... I am weird...

Theory Number Two:
In ninth grade my teacher, Ms. Sovas, said to the class that there is no such thing as the present. That everything takes time to reigster in your brain. Like the instance of hearing this message takes time. Well WELL!! I wanted to say something to argue with her. I really do... But now here is my little chance to say something but not to her cause that's just disrepectful... Then again I regret I did not do it. Anyways... I believe that there must be the smallest unit of time. It must exist. Consider the present. It must have a length, because on end of it is connected to the past and the other is connected to the future, and if it didn't have a length then the present couldn't exist at all. There would be no time for it to be the present in. But it still bugs me that she said there is no such thing as the present.. If there isn't then time couldn't possibly exist. But why would she say thaT? TO MAKE ME ANGRY!!?? Hardly. Yes I understand that I am a dork. I want an accurate clock so accurate that there will be no need for other clocks. If a clock is wrong then it is just wrong and fails. The smallest unit of time must exist. It can be .000000000000(couple billion more Zeros)1 of a second.

That is the end. I hope you enjoyed my long... writing... Yeah... If you don't get what I am saying then I am sorry I am not clear enough.

Vacation is over.

2004-12-31T13:51:00.000-05:00

Sorry for not updating for a while. Well this isn't going to be a real update. Cause I have to leave for work soon.

I am working all weekend.

Fuck.

No parties. No Nothing but work. But in the end I gots money. And new Years is huge. So It's great.

I hope you enjoyed your vacation as I did!

And what the hell is with these spaces between each thought? Could he not just....

Blah.

THANK YOU PEOPLES FOR THE GIFTS!! I HEART THEM ALL!!!!!!

Laugh. It'll make you feel better.

2004-12-06T17:39:00.000-05:00

Overwhelmed with a deep repulsion for sights seen so commonly, now I have come to be the walking enmity. Assimilate into a culture of post morality, from what I've seen, I hate humanity. Rot with repulsion. I'll write the world a brand new song. Look upon your bleak creation, but is it truly me that's to be the human blasphemy? I'll set the world on fire and, in burning light I'll write my first love song and i will feel warmth. Hide your eyes in heaven, in the lies. believe. Relieve. I'll end the world tonight. Overwhelmed with a deep repulsion for sights seen so commonly, now I have come to be a walking enmity, for humanity, the human blasphemy, I'll end the world tonight.
-AFI//"Smile"

Just thought a nice song will be nice and nice and stuff.

So here I am sitting on my computer chair with extreme comfort. I'm here eating my pretzel goldfish with a combinination of Green Tea thinking what to write... Thinking what to write.... Thinking what to write. AND NOW SINCE THE UNIVERSE ITSELF IS SO PROVACATIVE I THINK I MIGHT READ. AS THE HANSON SISTERS OR BROTHERS WHATEVER THEY MAY BE RULE THE UNIVERSE WITH THEIR GIANT FIRE BEAMING EYELIDS. YES EVERYTIME THEY CLOSE THEIR EYES PEOPLE DIE AND A PUPPY IS REBORN TO DIE AGAIN. AND NOW SINCE EVERYONE IS NOT READING NOW I SHALL EXPLAIN THINGS OR KEEP RAMBLING. THE WORLD WITH IT'S GIANT AWESOMENESS HAS BROUGHT ME A NEW BAND WHICH I ENJOY AND THEY ARE CALLED MEWITHOUTYOU. THEY ROCK ME SOCKS. AND NOW I SHALL KEEP RAMBLING IN... CAPITAL LETTERS. NOW SOME WONDERFUL FACTS ABOUT STUFF. SAMUS ARAN FROM THE WONDERFUL METROID SERIES OF VIDEO GAMES IS A GIRL. AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW ARE VERY SAD PEOPLE. DID YOU KNOW THAT A DAFFOLDIL IS A FLOWER? DID YOU KNOW THAT A DOGSHARK WITH IT'S GENIUS NAME SQUALUS ACANTHIUS WHO ARE A NORTH ALANTIC BREED. THEIR NAMES REFERS TO THE FIN SPINE BEHIND THEIR DORSAL FIN. ACANTHIUS MEANS POINTY THORN. WOOT. I AM TEACHING. DID YOU KNOW THAT URANUS' (THE ACTUAL PLANT) HAS AN ORBITING AXIS THAT IS TILTED 90 DEGREES. DID YOU KNOW THAT PHEONIX HAS A NOSE? I BET YOU DIDN'T YOU STUPID PERSON. DID YOU KNOW THAT IN IDAHO YOU AS A CITIZEN IT IS NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE SOMEONE A BOX OF CANDY EXCEEDING 50 POUNDS? DID YOU KNOW THAT CHARLIE BROWNS FATHER WAS A BARBER?

I BET YOU DIDN'T!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

YOU PRObebly stopped reading after a while and just came down here. Or not. Well anyways...

Weird posts are always weird. And this is the best I can do for today. Enjoy the rest of your days as a person. FOR IT SHALL NOT BE LONG!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Wait... Ooo You're outlook on whether you will die or not in a little bit are... (CHECKS WITH THE MAGIC 8 Ball) TRY AGAIN LATER.

2004-12-04T21:17:00.000-05:00

WHat does these MEAN!!?!?!?!?!!??!!??? IF you do not know then it's okay.

So I read.

I am so simple.

I am so weird.

2004-11-25T20:54:00.000-05:00

The senses have a way with things. There I was lying on the carpet after a sharp pain piecred through me. The senses say "Let's record everything in every detail." That night everything was remembered. The feeling of the carpet. The smell in the air. The taste and smell of my own blood. And slowly the drowsiness of my energy dimishes. I recorded everything. The littles. I saw everything. And at that moment everything was clear.

What the hell am I trying to say?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!

TURKEY!! FOR ALL!! AND GORGE YOURSELF!!!!!

2004-11-24T11:11:00.000-05:00

Today I felt something. Something horrible. And This could be just me complaining. But yeah... I felt like I was being replaced by someone in a group of friends. I feel as though my friends don't like me as much as they used to. There are some that really value this friendship and as do I but then there are some that are just... falling arpart. I would love to amend these broken links. Sometimes I feel like I've grown and some haven't caught up. but that's probably not true. I feel like someone is replacing me. And I should just be pushed off to the side like some old computer being replaced by a new one. There are things that I value. This one person I feel just hates me and doesn't like my company. But there is a side to this person at a time where we were good friends. I don't really know what I really am typing. It could be just mood shifts and everything just shifting and going along it's natural course and all this could be a phase. My jokes are getting old. And someone with a bright and fun sense of humor probably better than mine is replacing me. And if you read this and come up to me and say things like "I would never replace you" And you only say that to make me feel better then it wouldn't really make me feel better. Because all you are saying is that you haven't really risen up to the fact that you are sorry. You only fake risen up to the fact that I am really being replaced because you read this post. Maybe is makes sense... Maybe it doesn't. These past mornings haven't really been all that great. I would like to say that I am really sorry for being a complete ass at times and even though a lot of them were unintentional. I should change myself and become more... something else. Maybe then I wouldn't be hated. Maybe I am not the one who has grown up. And everyone else looking down at me waiting for me to go away.

I could be just paranoid. I could be sad. These things could be true and could not be true.

Am I giving gifts to everyone to find acceptance? Or am I giving gifts to everyone because I love them?

Possibly both but hopefully just one. THE SECOND ONE.

2004-11-16T18:57:00.000-05:00

He's saying, "I love you. Don't pinch me! Or I'll die!!"

I feel lightning dancing out of my finger tips. Now to make wonderful music for you.

Bee bo bop Zeep boop koop zing ZING to do da to to do da do bang bang ca ca capo pop "AND GOD SAID I MADE CHEESE" Doo doo da ding da zoop yuu foo bee bap. "Keep your vice underneath your hat" Doo dee sooooo voop opa YEW yuuu Yew yuu "I can play music with my toaster" Doo dee doooo DOooODOoo deee bang bang tototototototo TOTOTOTOTo so waaaaaaaa. "I can make you sneeze" Doo Doo deedeee dooo deee dodododod dededede totatotatotatota. Soo fa ma coo see be bop bing bing bing bing doo. "High above me rains the ice that falls onto your face and makes you say "OUCH" and then I come along and say "WEEE!!"" DOo dee bing bing BANG ping ping to to tatatata Doo dooo dooo dadad deedeeeeedodododod eeeee EEP EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee Soo seee can dodododo go dod dododod doooooDOooDOo."NOW!!! IT'sOver! ROCK ON BIATCH!!!" DoDOodo D O DOD O O D OODO DODODoDODO!!!!!

Wow. I make wonderful music. I hoped you enjoyed this moment. With my music. I KICK ASS. HAhahahaha Self Delusion. Now I am off to invent my own pastrey. And make it gooey.... And CHEESEY!! WITH MEAT!! Ha take that vegans. Bye bye people. And remember kissing people with their mouht filled with knives are bad. And if you do I have band-aids. And pepto Bismal.

I can write. GOOD. BE off.

FLY!

2004-11-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

0123456789

I want to be a triangle.

There are assholes in the world. But I bet they are nice at times.

I've been watching TV and I am not enjoying it. I watch some stupid commercials. Like the crappy sing things that makes me want to throw a brick at that little girl. SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! AHH!!!

I don't really like reality television. I don't see the reality in them.

I wish I could smack people upside the head.

What is wrong with people these days!? Always trying to make themselves look presentable. Or anything!! THey need makeup and cover up everything so they can become... "beautiful" .what is beauty!? I know what it is. America's beauty is on a fucking Magazine. They decide what is beauty. We are so hynotize on what beauty is. Like people have to starve themselves to look beautiful. But with beauty comes sex. You want all those damn STD's!? If people are fat or something. Don't worry. Be proud. BE PROUD!!!! THat means you can kill someone by just jumping on them. Why are people so hypnotized!? They have to lose weight cause they like this guy. WTF!!?? People should not care on what you look like but they should care on your personality, way of life, etc. You don't want a beautiful women that is a complete asshole but still looks beautiful. I met this guy. His girlfriend was Americanized beauty. I mean she was gorgeous. But the fact still remains. IS SHE NICE!??!?!? I introduce myself. And I could hear the hisses in her words and THE EVIL Bile Spewing voice that is talking to me. I want to say "WTF!!????? I ONLY INTRODUCE MYSELF!! And your giving me this fucked up hiss and hass and THIS acid spewing stinky breathe" But considering the niceness!!! People are going to get old and receive the blessing of wrinkles and wither away. Why must we be this way!? We have like these people who think they are ugly but when they are the nicest person and the best person to hang around with. Those ladies should be the ones having a boy/girl. They deserve so many things. WRITTEN WITH ANGER!!! I wrote this to make a point. Or atleast I tried to. I haven't read over it. BUt you know... It's going to be alright. Nobody will follow. People will be angry at me. It's okay. Whatever. I accept that that is your life your living and if you want to starve yourselves and put so much goddamn make up on then go ahead. Devote your life to it. I respect it. But I urge a change. A revolution.

Again with the fucking enter key...

Story time... I hope. I think. I believe. I am just making this story as I go. So bear with me. All names are fictionous. And this is a fiction story type thing. Don't kill me. But enjoy it. This is being made with A PErfecT CiRcle in the background.

"What the FUCK are you doing Jon?"

"What do you-"

"You KNOW what the fuck I mean."

"Listen- Al- I-"

"Shut the FUCK up Jon. Just shut up. I don't need an excuse."

"But Al, Honest I- I-"

"Fix it Jon. Just tell me that you are going to fix it."

"Al, I-"

"JON, TELL ME THAT YOU ARE GOING TO FIX IT!!!"

"I'll fix it Al, I'll fix it."

Slamming the receiver back on the hook does nothing but aggravate my headache.

Jon is the reason I'm having a very bad day.

Jon is the reason I'm having a series of very bad days.

Jon could very well be the reason for every bad thing that has ever happened to me.

The 14 messages on my answering machine. The blood stains on my t-shirt. The note from my landlord on my door that says I have two weeks to pack my shit.

These are just some of the bad things that have happened since I woke up. It's only nine o'clock in the fucking morning.

Add a stale bagel and bad coffee to that list.

You see, I'm human. I make mistakes. I admit to having the occasional fuck up. Hell, even God has his off days every once in a while. Look at the platypus. I admit my defeats; I'll raise the white flag. You can't dwell on your mistakes, or you will never get a chance to repeat them.

Usually my mistakes are easily remedied. I've never met a mistake that a little money, time, and effort couldn't correct. It's all about knowing the right people and the right places.

Jon is a little different. Jon is like the old car you just keep pumping money into, but never seems to run quite right. Jon is the ulcer in the side of my stomach. Jon is the migraine headache that never goes away.

Jon is my younger brother.

The kid means well, he really does. He tries to help his big brother out; I guess I can't fault him for that. His intentions are pure. I can't condemn the kid for trying. I just wish the repercussions of his actions weren't always so painful.

It isn't that Jon is slow. The kid isn't stupid. He has some bright ideas sometimes, and he understands how things work around here. He could probably outsmart most of the thugs working this place. It's just… he…

He tends to fumble the snap, to put it politely. He fumbles the snap, and I'm always the quarterback diving for the ball, trying to avoid getting hit by the three hundred pound gorillas.

I really wish I wouldn't let my temper get away from me; it just ends up costing me more quarters in the pay phone.

"Jon... look. I'm sorry for yelling-"

"No- No, it's alright Al, I know I screwed up, I know why ya mad at me."

The poor kid is crying now. I hate when he gets like this; how can I be angry at him when he's snorting and sniffling on the other end of the phone. He's always been a bit of a softy, but that was always part of his charm. Jon was the kid who cried when Old Yeller got it in the back yard and Bambi's mom met the bumfuck hunter.

"You just… Next time, wait for me, okay little brother? I know you want to make a score for yourself, and you will, but you're still learning."

"I know Al, I- I- I know-"

"I tell you what, I'm at the diner, I'll be over in five, and we can work on fixing this thing together. How's that sound?"

"O-Okay Al, I'll be ready. Ya,,, Ya think you could bring me over some breakfast or somethin… I-I forgot to go to the store, I don't have a whole lot to eat round here."

"Yeah sure kid, I'll bring ya something. See you in five."

"Th- Thanks Al."

The poor kid. He can't fool his big brother, I know where he lives. How he lives. He didn't forget to go to the store. Jon gets by on my handouts and the occasional lucky horse. He doesn't have anything, anything at all. A swiss cheese recliner and a sweat stained mattress.

"Yeah, can I have a Ham and Egg to go? Gimme a large coffee too, Black."

I reach into my pocket and realize that I'm not far from following in the little man's footsteps. Seventeen dollars, three sticks of gum, and my car keys. I've got half a tank of gas, six rounds in the revolver, and a baseball bat in the trunk.

These are my current assets.

Subtract four dollars and thirty-one cents from that.

The Olds is looking a little glum lately, but it always gets the job done. There is a little rust around the wheel wells, and the rear power windows don't work anymore, but the trunk is still easy to clean and the air conditioning can't be beat. There are a lot of memories in this tank. High school girls, lights out in the park. Racing down Broad street to be the first to the red light. Spinning doughnuts on the football field.

I miss being an innocent kid.

That dent in the side there is from Shakes. Came after me with a golf club one day. He got three good swings in before I got her to turn over. The crazy bastard insisted I stole his fuckin' television.

I mean, I had it in my trunk, but still, what right did he have goin' around makin' accusations like that.

The car's upholstery is decorated fashionably with cigarette burns, coffee stains, and if you look close enough, some blood and come that didn't come out with the Comet. The radio still works, but the same tape has been stuck in the stereo since... I don't know, since A Tribe Called Qwest was hip. The Love Movement. I recommend the remix of Scenario on the B side.

Jon lives in this run down apartment building 4 blocks down from the diner. It's the kind of place you hear about burning down and no one caring. Just a bunch of bums and low-lives hiding from their demons and staying in from the rain.

The kind of place I always said I'd never let my kid brother live in.

The town doesn't seem as exciting as it did when fifteen years ago. When you're a kid, everything is an adventure. Going five blocks out of your way meant you were going to see some things that you had never seen before. Breaking bottles in an alley was dangerous. Stealing fruit from old man Marcus on the corner was like your own personal action movie.

I miss those days. Now when I drive through these streets, there's nothing here. The colors aren't as brilliant as they were when I was twelve. The buildings are smaller, the streets more confining. There is no freedom in this place. When you're stuck here, you're stuck. Family. Friends. The job. "Responsibilities". When you're raised in this place, you're raised with an understanding that if you leave, you're letting everyone around you down. It's a sickness. It's a sickness that no one around here can seem to shake.

There's always the one guy, the guy who says once he graduates, he's never coming back.

"Not me man, I'm getting out of this shit-hole."

Yeah, that guy works on the corner of fifth and market selling magazines. He spent two years in New York City before he ran out of money and came back to the Port. He just came back to make a little dough to last him while he waited on his novel about the dire need for socialist food to be published. That was eight years ago. They always come back.

It's a sickness.

The pistachio paint on the walls of this place is peeling. Lead poisoning. That's alright; this isn't the place to be raising a kid anyway. Any kid who grows up here isn't going to be any worse off from a little lead poisoning.

I'd use the elevator, but judging by the upkeep of the rest of the building, I would probably be safer juggling chainsaws up the stairs. Climbing the second flight, and that old familiar pain my right knee waves hello. I don't really have any excuses for incessant pain in my knee. I don't have any football war stories or tragic car accidents. The pain just developed over the years of climbing up dilapidated staircases and chasing down fishes that didn't pay.

I wonder what this guy's story is. Same old sad song, the Port wore him down. That will be me in ten years sitting on the landing between flights of stairs, head in my hands, holes in my jeans, leaned up against the wall.

That little bit of the compassion left inside of me is stirring now. The little bit that hasn't been worn away by sleepless nights and my own fucking problems. Makes me want to ask the guy if he needs anything. At least attempt a good deed. I've forgotten what that warm fuzzy feeling of self-worth feels like.

I knock on Jon's door harder and faster with every passing second. An old flame of mine lives down the hall. By old flame, I mean I fucked her in the back seat of my car one Friday night in high school, and she still feels like I owe her something.

"Hey Jonny boy, How ya doin'."

"Don't kick my ass Al."

"Shaddup ya flamer, open the door, I'm not gonna kick your ass. I got ya breakfast."

GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!! Leave feedback. Oh god writing stories only makes my boredom drown. It wasn't supposed to be funny. I wish I could write funny stories of PURE funnyness. But All I can CREATE is evil. LONG POST!! If you read it all. GOod for you!! I am happy.

2004-11-08T15:39:00.000-05:00

From dehumanization to arms production
For the benefit of the nation or its destruction
Power is power, the law of the land
And those living for death will die by their own hand

Life's no ordeal, if you come to terms
Reject the system dictating the norms

From dehumanization to arms production
To hasten the nation to its destruction
Power is power, the law of the land
Those living for death will die by their own hand

Life's no ordeal, if you come to terms
Reject the system dictating the norms

From dehumanization to arms production
For the benefit of the nation or its destruction
Power is power, the law of the land
And those living for death will die by their own hand

Life's no ordeal, if you come to terms
Reject the system dictating the norms

From dehumanization to arms production
To hasten the nation to its destruction
It's your choice, your choice, your choice, your choice
Peace
Or annihilation..

-"Annihilation"//A Perfect Circle

I got this new CD the other day. A Perfect Circle new cd called eMOTIVE And I must say that it is a work of a genius. Many covers song that was remixed and interperated into what they should be. For Example Imagine originally by the Beatles now sounds like a tragedy through the eyes of Maynard. A cool album.

I am so tired. I am so tired. I wish I could right more but all I do is press the enter button.

And there I go.

2004-10-26T19:06:00.000-04:00

I believe it has been 13 days since I post up my last post. I am sorry for the delay if you care or not. I really don't mind. But WE SHALL SEE What is in this post! This post is going to be about ADVICE on what to say to a friend and what not to say to a friend. LET US BEGIN!!!

What not to say:
"Umm... What's your name again?"

What to say:
"I am very sorry but I believe I have forgotten your name. I am so sorry."

What not to say:
"Yeah... Umm... Is your mom the []INSERT DESCRIPTION HERE[]. Yeah... don't try looking for her. I kindof... hid her cause I ran her over. Not once but three times."

What to say:
"Your mom is nice."

What not to say:
"Holy crap your mom is soo hot!!! Please leave the door of you front house open cause I'm a comming!!"

What to say:
"Your mom is very pretty and nice"

What not to say:
"Before I die I would like to eat someone... And right now I am pretty hungry. And I believe that I could die at any moment"

What to say:
"Cannabalism is badness"

What not to say:
"I couldn't find the bathroom so I did the number 2 in your shoe."

What to say:
"Where is your bathroom?"

What not to say:
"DO YOU MIND IF I SNIFF YOU!!!??? Too late."

What to say:
"Yup Yup Yup."

What not to say:
"HOLY CRAP YOUR NOT A MIDGET IN A BIKINI!!??"

What to say:
"Midgets are very nice people."

What not to say:
"The aliens said that I should lure you with pie cause they beamed me up last night! And anal probed me. And YOu are so next"

What to say:
"Leprechauns!"

What not to say:
"I watched Titanic 32 times"

What to say:
"I wish I could rebuild the titanic"

What not to say:
"I am gonna stab you in the heart with a clotheshanger."

What to say:
"I am not gonna kill you!"

What not to say:
"Your HUMAN!!?? Really!!? All this time I thought you were a doorknob."

What to say:
"HUMANS RULE!!"

What not to say:
"Wait... WHAT!!?? So your not a figment of my imaginatioN!?"

What to say:
"PEnguins FUN!"

What not to say:
"Remember those pills I gave you for head aches... yeah.. They were actually explosive dierreha pills. And you should really got to the bathroom in like.... 5....4....3...2-SPLOOOSH. Well I guess I miscounted."

What to say:
"Are those headache medicine working?"

What not to say:
"I am trying to make your head explode. Please wait just a few moments of instant death. JUst like RAmen!!"

What to say:
"Mmmm Ramen"

What not to say:
"You mean your a []insert opposite sex[].

What to say:
"Doo Doo DOO!"

What not to say:
"Man you got a big HEAD!"

What to say:
"Your head is very nice."

What not to say:
"WHY CAN'T YOU DIE!!??"

What to say:
"Life is good For everyone!"

What not to say:
"BLING BLING HOMIE!!!!!!! With my giant feet."

What to say:
"Cheesecake"

What not to say:
"I pee'd on your carpet. Wow it's red. and I'm going now too!"

What to say:
"MUST USE BATHROOM!!!!"

OKAY!! I hope you enjoyed this little rendition of ADVICE!! OF WHAT NOT TO SAY AND WHAT TO SAY TO A FRIEND!!

Stayed tuned for a dinosaur eating children and chewing it for about an hour! Now it's so HYPNOVISION!!

2004-10-13T23:18:00.000-04:00

So I woke up sticky and naked. And I asked myself... "Did I miss something fun?"

Song of the day []I feel like TECHNO[]: "Bust a Move" By Infected Mushroom

When you look at it what do you think?

When I look at it I say "HOLY CRAP WHERE IS THE BENADRYL!!???"

See that's Rudolph. NOW HERE IS today's lesson. See the redness of his nose? That makes him so famous? Well that's part glowing red wart and part cancer and part radioactive candle wax. Santa has mysterious ways of making things glow.

I wish I was covered with meat and then be chaused by the neighborhood children and there dogs.

People should have the right to choose what skin color they want to be. I would so be orange on Tuesday and Green on Saturday. THERE ARE OTHER DAYS IN THE WEEK!!?? NO way.

2004-10-09T14:36:00.000-04:00

Another question!! MUST BE ANSWERed By you. My viewers. PLEASE ANSWER!!!! Please? Under comments. Okay OKAY!! Ready set Go.

Why can't we kill humans?

An answer based on ethnical viewpoint.
An Idealistic answer.
A biological answer.

There are many things that can serve as an answer.
But none of them are complete answers.

Answer. Now. Don't judge me under this post alone. But judge me on all my posts.

2004-10-05T21:07:00.000-04:00

I saw my wife.
She was standing right infront of me.
She was covered in blood.
Where she gotten struck.
She held out a flower.
And she smiled.
She dropped her flower.
In this moment I could feel her
silent scream.
She kept on smiling.
And she was gone.

-----------------------

I am very tired.

The ability to say "yes" and "no" is a privledge.

--------------------------------------------------------

I began writing this in a proper word processing program. A big flat white area surrounded by rulers and lots of little buttons and the distinct feeling that you aren't writing so much as you are reading back what something else has written.

I began writing this after spending two hours reading a novel about Salem Witch trials. I was reading the novel as an excuse to not begin studying for a test I have next week. I have convinced myself that that test is the make-or-break point for the rest of my education, and yet I can't convince myself to sit down and work on it.

I always begin writing as a means to not do something else. I write when I have other things that must be done. I write when I am looking for something, anything, to distract me from the rest of the world; the cool, cold, uncreative world.

I like to describe the real world in metallics because it makes me feel better about ignoring it.

-----------------------------------------
[]A moment with another brain. Not necessary me. Just a story that I made. A little one. I hope you enjoy. []

I spent a lot of my time this past summer with this one girl.

It's funny, because if you ask my friends, they'd say I was a liar.

Most people don't define "a lot of time" as a month.

I can only say that it felt like a lot of my time. It felt like more time than I had ever spent with anyone. I would be with her for two hours in a given night, and those hours would stretch on inevitably in my memory, like they were some kind of perfection tuned to the very stuff that father time sprinkles into his morning coffee.

I wasn't a very good person to her, in retrospect. It eases my mind a little bit to come up with excuses that round-aboutly tie my hands. I get really offended when people say that I broke her heart. I have never broken anyone's heart.

Hearts are broken under the weight of an entity that is going to be there whether you left her or not. That heart was waiting to be broken, and I was its excuse.

The day I came into the school to say goodbye to every teacher that had given a damn, she spotted me from the hall and waved. Instead of calling her in and introducing her, I waved back in that "hi person I know casually" fashion.

Instead of asking to use my teacher's back room for a minute to "talk", I just waved at her and turned my attention back to the 40 year old man who was advising me to study hard.

For some odd reason that moment has stuck with me.

I tell people that I cried the night I left her, and that isn't a complete fabrication. I cried that day. I cried on that phone called. And I cried again after the call. I cried for months afterwards.

I just didn't cry for those ten minutes when my face was buried in her shoulder. I didn't cry those ten lousy minutes. It wasn't for lack of trying and it wasn't out of any disrespect or distaste.

Sometimes the tears don't come.

I often wonder where I would be had I cried. Maybe those tears would have bound her to me a little more tightly. Maybe she would be at home waiting for me. Maybe, just maybe, I would have someone to sit out in the mall and chat with into the late hour.

There are no guarantees in life, and because of that, regrets seem to be a complete waste of my time.

Makes me wonder what the real reason behind all of this regret is.

I have a feeling that nuclear powered lips could keep a guy around for a good, long time.

I am so tired. And this post I hope made you realize that I am tired.

2004-10-04T23:06:00.000-04:00

Opinion Question!! Of the day.... YES!! They are fun. Hahaha. Hmm okay. I want to know your opinion on this question. Please comment! ANd Answer. It's an opinion question so there are no wrong answer. WOW I sounded like a teacher.

What does this picture mean to you?

2004-09-27T18:52:00.000-04:00

I am fueled by: two radioactivities, peace, rock, singing hamsters, waffles, and ramen.

Bands of the Moment:
The Used

Boys Night Out

Today:
So... today... Was school. What more can I say? It was okay. I didn't do much. And I didn't expect much. I was tired. And people expected so much from me. And I couldn't give it all. It was a monday. You know how mondays are right? Mondays a day where the freedom of the weekend crumbles. The beginning of monday was nice and cool beans. The end was nice aswell.

I smashed my head against the pavement ground.
I close my eyes to kill your noise.
I cannot take you and that book of yours anylonger.
That paperweight book that says hold the truth.
It is the exact opposite.
You lied to me and to everyone.
Where is the proof?
But I guess I'll be just fine.
Pretending when I am not.
Besides this is everything I can give.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I Just made that up!! WOOT!! I am so tired. THIS BLOG ENTRY SUCKS!! I AM SO BORED!!! I WIsh I could write something interesting! But all I do is ADD wiht pictures that I thought of in class. I am so bored. and insane. WEEE!!!!!!! I am talking to deedee. On the phone and I love HER!! LIKE HOLY CRAP!!

2004-09-26T01:55:00.000-04:00

I have this weird habit of always wanting to help people. Always!! I always want to help them. Make them happy. Supply them with items they desire. I always like to see the smile on their faces when i done something good for them. But why do I do this? This neverending need to help people? Is it because I am trying to make up something I've done in the past? I have really no clue. I probably do. I always want to help. Do you need Help!? I shall give yoU! And if you want someone just to talk I am usually there to chat. Call me or something. I need to help people. Maybe this is my purpose. To help. Have I figured out the meaning of my life!? To always make people happy or laugh!? And if I have then I have to make this into a career where I can live off of. But there should be more to life! Is there? I am not sure. This meaning of life after seeing the bottom of a 2 liter bottle of soda is so interesting. There are days where I feel like not helping. But those don't come often.

Determination. A big word. With meanings that makes everything good.

I am a giant glass of water that can hold an infinite amount of water. The water here isn't a choice but a need. That is what my help analogy is.

I want to be a key on your keyboard saying "help" and I want you to press it. And I shall be there.

I want to help so bad. SO FUCKING BAD! This feeling of accomplishment rushes through me and it's never enough. it's always going to be never enough. I need SO Much MORE!! But can I help myself? Yes there is the question of today.

I want to give them everything I can. I want to do that to you. My readers. I want to drop whatever I am doing at the moment and rush off to help you. There are factors. Of course there are factors.

I want to...
Help you Grow
Help you Live
Help you be happy
Help you laugh
Help you to fic yourself
Help you to see
Help you to know
Help you to give
Help you to improve
Help you all I can.

I relieze that I cannot do everything that I am not perfect. And I relieze that I can't always have what I want.

I don't want you guys to have a puzzled broken heart.

We all hate Valentines Day.

Please leave comments. I like to read your thoughts.

I AM A SUPER HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!!!

2004-09-20T20:32:00.000-04:00

I don't want to wonder
If this is a blunder
I don't want to worry whether
We're gonna stay together
'Till we die

I don't want to jump in
Unless this music's thumping
All the dishes rattle in the cupboards
When the elephants arrive

I want to love you madly
I want to love you now
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly

I don't want to fake it
I just want to make it
The ornaments look pretty
But they're pulling down the branches
Of the Tree

I don't want to think about it
I don't want to talk about it
When I kiss your lips
I want to sink down to the bottom
Of the sea

I want to love you madly
I want to love you now, yeah
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly

I don't want to hold back
I don't want to slip down
I don't want to think back to the one thing that I know I
Should have done

I don't want to doubt you
Know everything about you
I don't want to sit across the table from you
Wishing I could run

I want to love you madly
I want to love you now
I want to love you madly, way
I want to love you, love you
Love you madly.

Cake/"Love You Madly"

Stuck is my head all day. I hope you like the post below. Cause I really enjoyed writing that one. And yes I think it is one of my best post. And I wonder which one you think was one of my best post. And You don't have to read it all. I just want to know. leave Comments.

AH!!! TODAY WAS SOOOOO!! Welll Schoolish. It was all good. The morning rocked and the end rocked the middle like ham and peanut butter, cheese, with pickles and unions didn't rock. See the ham was the good part, Zoology, Peanut Butter was 2nd best so it belongs in the History, cheese was goodness and it belongs to Advance math. Pickles was okayness and it belongs to SCience and Unions which don't really go along in this sandwhich belongs to Latin. Yes I like all my classes and probably the ananlogy above doesn't really describe them in a way I like. But you know whatever. It's kindof my summed up version of what I think. SCHOOL IS LIKE A GIANT SANDWITCH!! Well it's more radioactive. It has this glow of OOoOOoOO! I NEED TO BE HERE!! And then the radioactivity just eats away YOUR VERY SOUL WITH HOMEWORK!! Homework is like this side effect of AHH! Yes Yes I have this weird head. It's great. Everything is great. I am so happy I am living up to this day. Everything is fine. Everything is as good as it can be. I really like the post below. I hope I can write like that again soon SOON!!!

Music is good for you.

BAND OF THE DAY: Moneen. Listen to them cause they rock with pure punkness. I wish I saw them on that Senses Fail and Moneen tour. But I didn't the sadness. But there will be others.

Right now the music is...... Moneen/"Are We Really Happy With Who We Are Right Now?"

And that cake Song too... Cannot get that out of my head. Remember I will always love everyone madly. Hahahahahahaha. I don't want to sit across the table from you wishing I could run.

live.love.die.

2004-09-13T17:50:00.000-04:00

It feels good.

I can't wait till I buy my first puppy.

I can't wait till I spend my first night awake with my first born child.

Ah, the future is good.

And the now is good.

And on Jan. 26 I will turn one year older, and on Jan. 27, I will begin my rebirth once again

I have found the secret to life in the bottom of two-liter soda bottles and late nights putting off sleep. I have found the secret to living every day and sleeping every night.

Accept what you are given, because god damnit, you were given it.

The future will end up like the future will end up. Do your best. Do your worst. Just do it. I can only do what I do and my life will happen the way it happens and the only way not to get completely upset by that whole notion is to realize that your life will be good.

Just accept it. Don't bitch and whine and complain anymore. You get to live and it's going to be good.

They kind of cancel each other out. I have my days of feeling absolutely nothing, and those days are the most necessary ones, because they let you reflect and remove yourself from the daily grind.

Ah, life is good.

I feel good.

I am good.

And the future is going to be absolutely amazing.

I want to cry a whole hell of a lot more before those tears dry up.

Being truly angry and upset is just such a waste of time. Nothing should bother you so much that it makes you lose sight of the future and the wonderful places you will be walking.

Walk more. Walking is great.

The moment someone upsets me to the point where I forget all of this garbage, then I suppose I have officially proven myself wrong.

And it will happen. I will be depressed at some point in my near future. I will be angry, too. I will be hurt depraved and torn apart.

But sometime after that, I will find my way back to this good rub, and it will all seem trivial and ridiculous.

You see, I'm not worried too much about being wrong about all of this. If I'm wrong, well, hey, I'm wrong, but in being wrong, I'll be right, and that is just one big fucking mind trip that I don't want to get into.

Just trust me.

In fact, I think I will trust me for a while, and every time I want to escape from this rub because it feels like I should, I just have to force it. Force the smile for a few minutes and the frown'll pass.

My rebirth. Another fresh start.

Yeah.... I feel good.

--------------------------------------------------
My Introductions to the random.

I have not spent enough time in bed. Come to think of it, I haven't spent enough time out of bed, either.

I'm sorry if you had plans to live forever. I don't mean to be a downer here. In fact, I'm trying to be pretty upbeat and optimistic. It's just an inevitable fact. You have lived through the date you are going to die dozens of times. You've ridden a bus or read a Bazooka Joe comic on the same date your heart stopped beating, future tense.

And on that date some indeterminable time from now, the moment before you lose cabin pressure, you will have the same thought as billions before you.

The phrase carries a sense of weight at this point, because every time I utter it I may be offending the very man I'm about to shake hands with. I'm plotting behind the back of my boss and hoping he doesn't hear it over the speakerphone.

The day in which you are going to die is always truncated by one utterly hopeless and depressing thought. It isn't necessarily true or even apt to the situation. Nonetheless, it is as inevitable as the day itself.

I was supposed to have three great loves in my life. Three. I've racked up maybe one and a half. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to round up. I didn't get the opportunity to read the rules.

------------------------------------------

Your kind if you read it all. If you skimmed. That's okay too. I hoped I made sense in the beggining and some at the end. But not really much so at the end.

Drop Some Comments. Please?

2004-09-12T19:55:00.000-04:00

Infinity.

2004-09-06T22:32:00.000-04:00

I would like someone there to share my thoughts with and love someone. Like a girlfriend. I want one. Easy to say. But who? I don't really know who. My firneds say that I deserve someone beautiful and very nice, special and all those good qualities because that I am a very good person. I guess that I am in some ways and I am not. My friends say that this girl has to be good enough for me. Am I really that special? Am I really that good? Am I really a type a person who deserves anyone? I don't know. I want someone. Someone special that would like me and respect what I do. And in return I will of course respect her. I will cherish her. I am too shy. I can't ask. I can't do anything. I am just a shy skinny asian kid. My self-confidence sucks. My image of myself sucks aswell. I want someone to heal me.

Deedee: "If you get a girlfriend Winson she has to be beautiful and good enough for you. Because you are a great guy and you really deserve a great girl."
[]It Went something like that[]
I thought that was special. How she acknowledge me as a 'great guy'. Deedee I heart you so much.

There are great females out there. And I would like one to suit me. I could give her things. But I could give her my heart most important. I would always make her happy. Try and make her laugh.

I hope there is someone out there for me. And I hope there is someone out there for all of you aswell. There will be. In time you will find your person. Just be patient.

I want someone smart, great personality more than Beauty.

To shy to ask.

2004-09-05T20:50:00.000-04:00

Current Desktop.

I've never been
One for war
Sand were sinkin in
as thick as oil

Lion and the lamb
there all gone
there all gone
slaughter the lion and the lamb
for our home
for our home

ive never been
one for war
sand were sinkin in
as thick as oil

lion and the lamb
there all gone
there all gone
slaughter the lion and the lamb
for our home
for our home

what have
what have
what have
become

what have
what have
what have
become

of

lion and the lamb
there all gone
there all gone
slaughter the lion and the lamb
for our home
for our home
the lion and the lamb
there all gone
there all gone
slaughter the lion and the lamb
for our home
for our home

-The Get Up Kids/"Lion and the Lamb"

I just really want to say something about my mom. And now this is what I have to tell all faithful readers. That if I ever die in an accident or something. Which will never happen but I just want to make sure. That if I die please PLEASE call my mom and tell her to look at my blog and to this specific post. This post is going to be about my mom. I love you so much Mom. And I am sorry for being a bastard or anything just evil. I always loved you. And I just want you to know that I never truely hated you. That I always try and make you proud of what I do. I don't want you to feel so sad if I die that you had a son that hated you. Cause the truth is that I really love you. Everything you did was just great. I hope that I didn't die. I hope you don't have to read this. Cause if your reading this that means I am dead and my friends told you. But hopefully this will NEVER happen. And if it does. I am sorry. I am so sorry that I died. And I really love you SO FUCKING MUCH mom. You are so young in my eyes.

I hope that you will never see me die. I hope that our family will never die.

And for all those people who are like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS KID LOVES HIS MOM!!" Well fuck you. Fuck you some good FUCK YOU. Cause you love your mom and saying that I just expressing my feelings is funny to you. I love my mom. And I know you people love your mom or whatever. I don't care what people think. I am not a momma's boy. But I do love my mom and I am proud to say it. So Fuck You if you think this is funny. Cause it really isn't.

I am not going to die anytime soon........... I hope....

2004-09-01T22:16:00.000-04:00

There is a question where I just would like to know the answer to all of my readers. I probably have someone who reads my thoughts and ideas and I appreciate it. I just want you to answer this questions because I am curious on other people's ideas and stuff. Please answer this question through the comments right below the link down there at the bottom of this post. Post an answer by posting a comment. I Neeed to know. The answer cannot be a simple yes or no. Please use a detail explanation! Please? PLEASE!? PLEASE!???

And the question is.....

Do you support Gay Marriage?

I think I posted my answer somewhere in the history of my blog.

[]What I am doing[]: Wondering.

[]Knowledge[]: Worrying is like being on a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but you don't go anywhere.

2004-08-27T20:41:00.000-04:00

Never pick up the phone
Take the money and run
I've lost my way Washed out at sea I'm lost at sea
I'm tired. Sleep Tonight.
My guts are wrenched and chewed like flat balloons.
I'm an imposter.
Someone hit me over the head.
I cough a new disease.
I slipped on a little white lie.
You've got ventrioloists standing in the shadows at the end of my bed.
Strangled
Beatened Up.
I sat in the cupboared and wrote it all down.
The innocense have been used to thicken the soup.
Ivehadmyfill Iwanttoforgive
We are buried beneath the sidewalks.

Tough choices with difficult decisions that you really wouldn't understand.

Will you please Fix Me?

Watch the world collapse like a discontinued component in an outdated appliciance.

I need something to complete me.

I am really trying hard to not worry. But I can't always stop. It's hard. I just don't want to lose someone over a stupid little conversation or debate. When I lose someone it hurts. I am trying I am trying. Hard to break this habit of mine.

If someone ever complains that you are too skinny or too fat or anything just say "Fuck Off and Die."

2004-08-26T22:51:00.000-04:00

Some wisdom and knowledgement YOu Guys NEEd.

The great lesson to be learned is that Happiness is within us. No passing amusement, no companionship, no material possession can permanently satisfy. We must hoard up our own Strength. We must depend upon our own Resources for amusement and pleasure. We must make or mar our own Tranquillity. To teach them this is the preparation for Life which we can give our children.

Phil A. Ledger

Self-distrust is the cause of most of our failures. In the assurance of strength there is strength; and they are the weakest, however strong, who have no faith in themselves or their powers.

The greatest of all human benefits, that, at least, without which no other benefit can be truly enjoyed, is independence.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
-Norman Cousins

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
-Voltaire

Man is a creature of impulse, emotion, action rather than reason. Reason is a very late development in the world of living creatures, most of whom, as far as we know, get along admirably in daily life without it.
-James T. Adams

The most agreeable of all companions is a simple, frank man, without any high pretensions to an oppressive greatness --- one who loves life, and understands the use of it; obliging alike at all hours; above all, of a golden temper, and steadfast as an anchor. For such a one we gladly exchange the greatest genius, the most brilliant wit, the profoundest thinker.
-Lessing

Something interesting... Something Funny. So Offense at all. Just something that you'll probably like....

More wisdom soon.

2004-08-24T18:42:00.000-04:00

My Current Desktop.

Wow... I never new I could save a picture of my current screen!!!!! Thanks DD!

Wooopt. I am listening to Billy Talent and having fun. Doing... nothing. =)

2004-08-23T10:47:00.000-04:00

Where am I going? Where are we going? In ten years I don't know what I would look like. What I would become. Would I be this wealthy dude who has a beautiful job with or without a wife? Or would I be some bum on the streets. See I don't want to be this asshole on the street. But I don't know how I can change any of this. I feel like my foundation of my well-being is falling apart. They don't teach you in School if that happens. It's just everything seems so old and repetitive. I should try something new. Or something different. I want my life to be structured. I want my life not to fall apart and not for me to have a furture or to die at a young age. I don't know how to use myself. Am I that worthless? What is my purpose? I want a system I want something that takes me to my death.

I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
I just want something I can never have.
A Reason.

[]This Post is brought to you by someone who had to wake up so goddamn early to pick up a phonecall that was a telemarketer and that person couldn't go back to sleep but thought at his own life and his own ways and God, Society, religion, people, and whimsical natures. What am I doing with my life? Why am I doing all these stupid things? Questions like that is what it is brought to you.[]

It's eleven o'clock in the goddamn morning. I am going to bed... Soon.

[]Week[]: It was awesome. last week on August 19th I went to warped Tour had the best time of my life. It was awesome it was so much fun. I went with this really cool kid Jeremy and his friends Nate and Homatah which is a name I have no idea how it spell. We had a great time. Weekened sucked ass. It was so annoying because of work was a bitch but on sunday it finally something cool happened I just watched a movie with my friend Jeremy. And then I wake up. And here I am writing this post that I have no idea why I am sharing. I want people to question themselves.

[]Mood[]: Pretty Shitty and Tired. And let's add in a mixture of confusion.

[]Music[]: The Sound Of the Screaming nature in my head.

[]Quote[]: To die in order to avoid the pains of poverty, love, or anything that is disagreeable, is not the part of a brave man, but of a coward. -Aristotle

[]What I have to say[]: I'm sorry.

2004-08-18T13:22:00.000-04:00

Just something I thought you guys would like to see.

I just want something I can never have.

2004-08-16T12:10:00.000-04:00

Very sexy isn't it? I think it is!! It's all.... Sexy... and stuff.... Yeah... =) WEEE!!!! Yes! YES!!! Wait.... No... WEEEE!!!! Yes I have not updated in a while... Let's see what should we talk about? I mean "i" Yeah.... eyes.... I.... Dookie. I would like to toss my suit into the oven. I AM DONE WITH EVERYTHING IN DRIVING!! Well kindof. Driving all of the 12 hours is complete. I must get the certificate of Driver's Thingy and get my liscense when Ido the road Test. I'll probably fail like.... the first 62 times. You know what they say 63rd is the charm... Or was it 64? I dun know. AH!! THEY HAVE VANDALIZE MY CHICKENS!!

See I am in there... In the right towards the bottom... SEE!! That little string to the right! I was walkin' a neighbors dog cause I just saw it there and they caught he walking the dog so they put me in the chicken thingy. My hand and body is crushed.

Sooooooooo one day.... I released the shadow hog's POWERFULness and all it's glory. Yes I recieved a very special gift that day... THE DAY WHERE EVERYTHING TASTED LIKE PIG INTESTINES!!! But... the hot dogs taste fine... I mean it's a hotdog so it makes sense.... A life time of HOTDOGS AH!!!! Now I am on a search to find something that doesn't taste like pig intestines.

Right now I want to turn myself into a candle OF PURE WAX!! Like from ears and corn and stuff. WEEEE!!!!

We are now downloading the life out of me into your computer. Prepare to be DOOMED WITH MY SOUL INSIDE YOUR COMPUTER!!!

Too tired to speak. Too Tired to write.... Anything more.

2004-08-08T21:41:00.000-04:00

Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned.

Yes I really REALLY REALLY REally ReAlLy rEaLlY like that movie. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. AND I want to see it now... NOW!!!!! So umm.... YEAH!!! Sorry but this post is going to BE SHORT!! And it's almost the the end. SO CLOSE! AH!! Why isn't it ending? I have no idea! And why did I just answer my question!? I don't know! LOOK!! I did the answering again! AH! AND CLOSE END STATEMENT!!!!!! NINJAS!

2004-07-28T11:50:00.000-04:00

Thoughts:

Emotion in the Morning:

What I would do:

My Job:

What's in my head:

Against:

What I would do if I can do anything:

Who I would Dance With:

What I would trade my ENTIRE life with:

What I NEEED!!!!:

What I want to be when I grow up:

-------------------------------------------------------

Okay I think I am done.... Yeah I was bored. Sorry for the lack of updates. Like you care. Maybe you do or don't but I just want to put my thoughts and share to the world. I should put more opinions and stuff.... Later on not now. Too tired. Last week of driver's ed! yay!!!! Cannot wait for warped tour. But Jelous of Dee Dee and Catie for going to see Kittie. ROAR!!!

2004-07-20T21:44:00.000-04:00

Whoa Whoa WHOA!! SIX days and no updates!?? WHAt's Wrong with me!!?? TELL ME!! TELL ME!!! Wow. Anyways let me fill you guys in if you are really interested in reading my life. And I know you are Jacqui! =)! So anyways... During the weekend.. was probably THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE!!! Okay Okay Okay. It's hard to put it into words but here it is to start off. I went to Connecticon! Which is an anime convention in Conneticut! IT WAS CRAZY AWESOME!!! And guess what... I SAW THE JACQUI! THE NOODLE! THE NOODLE GIRL!!! Wow I couldn't believe it! Yeah Yeah I knew for a while put still! It was so cool meeting her it was really cool BEANS! She had bright pinkness of a Dress! And the mirror and the head thingy! IT WAS AWESOME! Aww she was so CUTE!! Hahaha We hung out and then I kindof dissapeared And she did TOO!! But anyways the story GOES ON!! In the beginning I went with my friends Dan, Tali, and Catie. Dan was wolfwood from Trigun, pretty wicked costume! WITH THe crosse! Tali was Lulu from Final Fantasy X and her costume was beautiful! ANd awesome! But she had no sleep! I probably had the most sleep in Friday through Saterday. 1 hour and 30 minuetes THAT's my TIME! And Catie was Robin from Witch Hunter Robin! Her was cool! And she had penicls in her Hair!! And I was No Face from spirtied away hence the picture above. I am the one of the right or I tried and attemped to. And i did pretty good but I kindof couldn't breathe and couldn't really see. But it was okay. Breathing is for the WEAK!! And Sleep is for the weak too!! So most of the time I had no costume. But there was... DDR!! And i entered in the DDR tourney and I did BAD! But I ended up in the top 16 in 8th place. But the pad are SO BAD!! There is like no definition between the steps! So I was pressing up but I really wasn't. It was horrible! The first day was Saterday and it was a 2 hour drive to go to Conneticut and it was worth it. OooOO! I am listening to Techno and nOT JUST ANY TECHNO!! IT's Infected Mushroom THE BEST THERE IS!!! And it goes Doo DOo DOoo Doo Doo Doo Doo DOo and somewhere in the middle he says "PSYCHO!" And it'ss a good song.. IT's called psycho! We kindof watched anime but we didn't it was weird but it was AWESOME! People had COOL COSTUMES!! Like this dude had a wicked cool vash COSTUME made out of vinyl IT WAS SICK! We went around and around and around! But no sign of Jacqui BUT THEN!! We went back to the main entrance cause there are three buildings and I saw her! YAY!! She had cool stripped socks and a bunny head nailed to the wall from JTHM. AWESOMENESS!! And there was a kindof a rave and we danced but I was kindof sick cause before we went to wendy's and ate and I think I made my stomach explode. I can't buRP! Hahahaha. WEEEE!!! Okay Okay Okay. Hmmm What else should I say... OO!! I met people! Like INO! A blue haired girl that is pretty COOL BEANS! And more and Roy And Ichiro and moRE AND MORE AND MORE!! WEEEE!!! IT WAS SO COOL!! I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!! But... I AM GOING TO ANIME BOSton and Jacqui IS comming! HURRAY! ANd I hope it's a final and approved statement that I am going. OoOOOOO!! THE EXCITEMENT!!

Second day at connecticon. It was pretty good but NO JACQUI! AH! Lol we bought some stuff cause everything was cheaper. Hahaha. I bought a shirt and it said I AM YOUR Secret scary FRIEND! And I wanted another shirt that was sell your soul for a cookie? And I wanted it! But no more money so yeah. Everything was good Good Good GOod. I want to do it again all my life. Everyone WAS SO NICE TOO!! Danny with his Paccy boobs hahaha and tali eating it's nipple. HAHAHAHAHA!

LET'S SING SOME TECHNO!!

Doo Doo DOOoDOOoOODooODOOooDOOoo DOo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo DOo Phew Phew PHEW doo Doo Soot Soot asiids PYSCHO! Doo DOo DOo DOo Doo Doo DOOOOooOoD OOOOOodoo DOo DoooooooDooOodooDOo Doo DOooOooOoDOO DOO DOO doo Doo DOo Doo -Spaceship noise- Doo DooOooOoOOOooooDoooooOOoOoOoo Bing Bing Bing Do oo DOoo OOOOOoOooo!

Man I love my Techno!

WAit WAIT FOR IT!! CAUSE iT's a picture of me and Jacqui! I Am such a DORK!

BEHOLD! ME AND JACQUI!! I am such a dork Heehee And she is not! WEE! But maybe we both are!

2004-07-14T14:51:00.000-04:00

HELLO EVERYONE!! I HEART YOU ALL! I am very sorry for the lack of posts but this post is about ASCII art cause I am bored! NOTE: I DID NOT MAKE ANY!!

OOoo Yeah I started driver's Ed this week and it is crap cause it's in Sudbury and I know no one. I AM BORED AND TIRED AND I WANT TO SCREAM. Actually I want to scream with no pants on and with worms of course. ANYWAYS HERE ARE THE ARTS!!


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Felix the cat for Tali



Heehee

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          The Dutch Dude            ##

          T.vanEck@fontys.nl        #



Cool Beans Bat! Just a few for NOW! 

BUT Later there shall be more for your veiwing pleasure. 

Hahaha I said more! AND I SAID STUFF LIKE STUFF AND MORE STUFF!

Spooky YES!?

2004-07-08T20:23:00.000-04:00

I HEART YOU SO MUCH TOASTER!! I LOVE YOU!!! PLEASE LOVE ME!! For this love is so unbearable! THE LOVE! AOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOoo!

Hey guys I am really sorry that I have not written in so long. I don't know why. Maybe because it's summer and the LAZINESS!!! WEEE!!!! So nothing much really happened just hanging out with friends! Guess what I cannot swim! Remember the time when I told you I almost drown in that lake near my friends house. BUT I WAS SAVED by this mircaulous people anmed Dan and Catie. Ooo I heart them and Don't worry Tali your here aswell. Anyways my mom signed me up for swimming lessons in the YMCA. I am there Next Thursday and the Thursday after that around 6:30-7 VISIT ME!!! the teacher I have is a really nice lady that graduated from HighsKooL. AND I AM LEARNING!!! HURRAY!!!

Such tiredness consumes every limb of my SKinnyness!

Texhnolyze.

Good Anime Dawg. Hahahaha I said Dawg. OooOoOoOOoo I said it again! HURRAY! Earth is interesting

2004-06-27T23:52:00.000-04:00

A.D.D. Moment for everyone.

HOLY CRAP! IT"s FUZZY!!!!!!! THE FUZ ENTRAPS YOU!!!

Nachos are the best healing powers.

OMG!!! It's a mime! HURRAY FOR EARTH!

Now that is one sexy alien.

LUNCH ON THE GO!! HURRAY!! BRAINS!!

Well that's all for now. Ta Ta!

Praise me.

2004-06-27T21:05:00.000-04:00

stop.this.please.change.this.world.of.greed.hatred.ingnorance.
change.change.everything.you.are.fights.and.battles.have.just.
begun.revenge.will.surely.come.greed.entiltlement.delusion.
illusion.it.all.equals.america.don't.let.yourself.down.you.
will.be.heard.your.last.chance.has.arrived.please.use.this.
chance.to.be.heard.don't.let.yourself.go.like.so.many.people.
sing.for.it.you.have.to.sing.for.absolution.remeber.that.knowledge.
is.the.enemy.of.faith.this.anxiety.is.running.straight.through.me.please.
explain.this.will.you.do.this.for.faith.or.sweet.and.blood.CHANGE.
is.comming.I.really.hope.you.see.the.light.cause.no.one.cares.i'll.
sell.you.memories.15.pounds.a.year.this.scares.the.hell.out.of.me.
and.it's.all.i.can.say.I.can.see.the.end.and.the.abyss.and.the.abyss.
stares.back.

Hopelessy i'll love you endlessly, hopelessly. I'll give you everything. But I won't give you up. I won't let you down. I won't leave you falling. If the moment ever comes.
It's plain to see it's trying to speak. Cherished dreams forever asleep.

I am going all the way.

The tired....The caffiene....This nachos....

Right now I am watching this flashback intertwine.

I saw a seizure today and it was really frightening.

Happy gay and lesbian pride day.

Love is love.

2004-06-20T20:06:00.000-04:00

Sorry guys... I haven't updated for a bit. Tommarow is the last day of Skool And I have an exam. And I am scared. But no really. I am sooo tired. Wow I really am. ARGH!!

stay out of the light
all the photographs that i gave you
you could say a prayer for me too
but just get in line and i'll believe you
can i meet you, alone
another night and ill see you
another night and ill be you
some other way to continue

to hide my face

another knife in my hands
a stain that never comes off the sheets
clean me off
im so dirty babe
the kind of dirty where the water never cleans off the clothes
i keep a book of the names and those
only goes so far to bury them
so deep in town we go

touched by angels so i fall out of place
i've been in also maybe i move this everyday

another knife in my hands
a stain that never comes off the sheets
clean me off
im so dirty babe
it ain't the money and it sure as hell ain't just for the fame
it's for the bodies i claim and lose

only goes so far to bury them
so deep in town we go

down

and down we go
and down we go
and down we go
and we all fall down

[yelling]

and we'll all dance alone to the tune of your death
we'll love again, we'll laugh again
and it's better off this way

and never again,and never again
they gave us two shots to the back of the head
and we're all dead now.

well never again,and never again
they gave us two shots to the back of the head
and we're all dead now.

i tried, one more night, one more night
well im laughin', cryin', laughin'
i tried,
well i tried,
well i tried,

'cause i tried
but i lied

i tried
i tried
i tried

and we'll love again and we'll laugh again
we'll try again and we'll dance again
and it's better off this way
so much better off this way
i can't clean the blood off the sheets in my bed

never again, and never again
they gave us two shots to the back of the head
and we're all dead now.

[] I have it stuck in my head. It's not Marilyn Manson. It's My Chemical Romance []

I really hope I got over her...

2004-06-14T23:36:00.000-04:00

I Really don't know why I am doing this post. Maybe because I want some answers!! Like how do air conditioners work?? Is it like.... A fan? That is powerful? ANd Radioactive!!??? Maybe... Or could it be Nuclear GRR!! DooDooDooDooDoo PLEASE TELL ME!! I am sooo tired and yes... It is supposed to be fliped... I hope it works out. If it doesn't then I screwed up... HURRAY!! How is life everyone? I have finals starting Wedsnday allll the way through Next Monday which is crap... School ends on a Monday... WHY!!?? And when it ends... Everything will be perfect. There will be a calm lasting for maybe.... 2 months.. OoOooOoo I get to go to Warped Tour!With some Compadres HURRAY!! Mine is at August 19th which is on a Thursday. And the bands are...New Found Glory
Coheed & Cambria
Taking Back Sunday
Flogging Molly
Anti Flag
Bouncing Souls
Bad Religion
Yellowcard
Story of the Year
Atmosphere
Sugarcult
International Noise Conspiracy
Tiger Army
Rise Against
The Casualties
Rufio
Allister
Avenged Sevenfold
Matchbook Romance
Billy Talent
Guttermouth
The Briggs
Washington Social Club
Fall Out Boy
Alexis on Fire
Letter Kills
Rose Hill Drive
The Kinison
Planetsmashers
20 X
Oreon
Audio Karate
Amber Pacific
Breaking the Silence
Melee
Underminded
From First to Last
Hidden in Plain View
Dynamite Boy
Saosin
Brazil
Much The Same
Monty's Fan Club
(YES I KNOW!! I KINDOF MESSED UP!! But the bands on the right are on the warped tour and the text on the left is fliped and sideways. IF TOO LAZY AND DON'T WANT TO HAVE FUN!! Then read the post originally at the bottom of this post. Ooo I am beginning to play with HTML and the bands are fading but NOT ENOUGH!! So you cannot tell.)

I know most of them and I heart them. If you don't like Punk then... You don't like Warped Tour. SO I AM SO EXCITED!! Tickes cost like 21 or 25 dollars. And I might get a ride from a dude or from another dude. Or something else rather. NO FLIPED! MUHAHAHA! AT FOXBORO!! In boston! YOU CAN STALK ME!!

Crap Hahaha the post is funny!! THE ORIGINAL NOT FLIPED!! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE FUN!!

I Really don't know why I am doing this post. Maybe because I want some answers!! Like how do air conditioners work?? Is it like.... A fan? That is powerful? ANd Radioactive!!??? Maybe... Or could it be Nuclear GRR!! DooDooDooDooDoo PLEASE TELL ME!! I am sooo tired and yes... It is supposed to be fliped... I hope it works out. If it doesn't then I screwed up... HURRAY!! How is life everyone? I have finals starting Wedsnday allll the way through Next Monday which is crap... School ends on a Monday... WHY!!?? And when it ends... Everything will be perfect. There will be a calm lasting for maybe.... 2 months.. OoOooOoo I get to go to Warped Tour!With some Compadres HURRAY!! Mine is at August 19th which is on a Thursday. And the bands are...

2004-06-14T15:15:00.000-04:00

Sorry I was not posting up for a couple of days or weeks or something. I don't know why. Maybe the large amounts of homework which I try to do but.... Yeah...

So it's almost near the end of SCHOOL!! HURRAY!!! It ends next Monday. So all during the week starting on Wedsnday I have Finals! Hurraaaa. TALI IS EVIL!! DOING THE UNFORGIVABLE BADNESS WHICH CONSUMES HER SKULL AND HER DANGER ZONE!! Bad Bad Bad Tali and Jill and Dee and Becky and Catie and alot more.

SO SO SO!!! IAM GOING TO CONNITICON!! Which is this anime type which is SOO Exiciting!! CAUSE I GET TO SEE THE MOOSE!!! Witha bunch of friends. Like July 16-18 Which is exciting!! AND FUN!! And Also I might and I WANT TO go to the warped Tour on August 19 which is full of Bands that are FunFun!!

Mezmoring ISN'T IT!!???

It won't give up, It wants me dead
And Goddamn this noise inside my head

Please Save Me

2004-06-02T18:37:00.000-04:00

2004-05-31T11:40:00.000-04:00

The person you love is 72.8% water.

The average ambulance response time is ten minutes and forty-nine seconds.

From the moment the call is routed through to emergency medical services, to the arrival on the scene, it takes ten minutes and forty-nine seconds. Turning over the engine, pulling out onto the street, using a radio transmitter to change red lights green, and traveling an average of fifty-eight miles an hour.

Ten minutes and forty-nine seconds. Remember that number, because that is how long you will have to hold on to your life. That is exactly how stubborn you have to be in order to survive a car crash. An overdose. A heart attack.

Every minute that passes by reduces the survival rate of a cardiac arrest patient by ten percent. Every minute you are laying on the ground unconscious, you are one tenth closer to death.

Electrical signals start sending themselves more rapidly to your heart, causing it to run a race it can't win. It begins to limp along, and you lose vision momentarily. Parts of your body begin to feel strangely surreal. Arrhythmia sets in and your heart trips over its shoelaces, refusing to get back up off its knees. You collapse in your kitchen, your bathtub, your patio.

If you're keeping track, the average ambulance on the average day with the average patient ends in an average funeral.

When your lungs collapse from a sudden blow to the chest, cardiac arrest sets in. Electrocution, drowning, choking, and sudden blows to the heart.

Ten minutes and forty-nine seconds after you forgot to turn the power off at the breaker box, the ambulance arrives at your household and puts you on a gurney. For the entire ten minute ride back to the emergency room, they send electric pulses through your chest, attempting to restart your heart artificially.

Deus ex Machina in full effect, flying down the road at sixty miles an hour.

When you arrive at the emergency room, a doctor and three nurses spend another four to six minutes attempting to shock you back to life. After the required number of attempts, the doctor pronounces time of death and signs off on your life.

We are brought into this world with a certificate, it seems only fitting that we leave with one.
End

Things to Do:
..Develop a Unique Handshake.
..Learn To Drive a Speedboat.
..Buy a Speedboat.
..Paint a self Portrait.
..Find a confortable pair of Shoes.
..Memorize the Alphabet backwards.
..Draw a map.
..Invent a pastery.
..Learn to write (GOOD) with your opposite hand.
..Learn to write with your foot if your ambidextrous.
..Learn to write with your spleen if you can use your foot.
..Beat the spleen.

Beliefs:
...I believe that the Asian Population is hiding something.
...I believe that headphones will save lives.
...I believe that fingertips are the only bodyparts necessary to life.
...I believe that everyone should have a tattoo before they die.
...I believe that Music has seven letters, writing has twenty-six notes.
...I believe in the power of walk in the dark.
...I believe music will soothes the mind, body, and soul
...I believe music is a religious experience.
...I believe that fish are the last thing to recognize water.
...I believe Michael Keaton is the only Batman.
...I believe my life has so much time left, but the phrase "Life is Short" still applies.
...I believe mornings were created to anger human-kind.

DONE!!!

2004-05-24T22:15:00.000-04:00

Winson may explode without warning

M
EXPLOSIVE

From Go-Quiz.com

2004-05-24T17:03:00.000-04:00

THE DOLPHINS!! THEY ARE ATTACKING!! AH!!!! You see the story goes SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!:
Once upon a time there were dolphins and humans you see dolphins are smarter and take they're time building an army as there civilization Exists in the Earth's Core where they get everything they need. As We are just stupid and killed our world. So what they did was NOW IT"S THERE TIME TO STRICK!! ANd strick some good!! Some all over the World!!! California Nebraska and CloudS!! EVERYWHERE DOn't worry if you are near Loud music you are Safe SO CRACK IT UP BABY!!!

So everyone!! How was your day?? I just finshed MCAS which I hope you know what it is!! Posted in the last Post before this one talks about it and I think I did pretty Damn GOOOOOD!!!!

All of a sudden I want a tree house like... THIS ONE

Right now Life is... Okay.. People have changed and I have but I really don't want to turn to the worst. When you hear stuff... Like Bad stuff... Like self-mutilation you sometimes don't think that some people do. I really don't know why it... relieves the pain from within. I really want them to stop and not do something like that. I don't want them to die... I don't want to lose them.

Today I saw her... Today... Xiomara... She came back from Day School a Hospital for the insane.. I don't think she's insane. I think I really love her still And... I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY RUI!!!! She broke up with me because she didn't want to hurt me because she's afraid that she's going to do something that she'll regret and I was going to say whatever you do I don't care because I love you. And I mean it so much people don't understand.

I want to go shadow stabbing because My shadow wouldn't let me walk through itself. So I got pissed it gives the groundlings shades but not me. The Sun Beams High above me and my shadow says... MUHAHAHA I AM Nice and coooool. So maybe if I stab them I'll stab there essence. A Person and I don't want to do that.

During the weekend I went to my dad's house and he lives near a church which we never go to. There was a shopping cart outside because there's a Grocery Market around. So I went on and asked My brother's friend to push ME!! AND I WENT WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Until I fell and I was laughing so hard when I did! It's weird yeah I know hahaha But it was pretty interesting. It was fun cause I fell and got cuts but I didn't care because I knew the risk I was going to take as I was about Head towards my Dooooom

2004-05-19T20:02:00.000-04:00

Wow today was really interesting... I almost drowned. Yes I know. I haven't swam before that incident for about a year. So as you can see... I forgot everything!!! I mean come on I used to do everything I tried surfing, body surfing, boogie boarding, up and down, I used to walk at the bottom of the ocean. I used to do alot and when I was on that lake trying to swim to a thing across the lake I suddenly panic my arms and legs kindof gave out and under the water I cried and tried to surface I did put but I kept sinking. AND I THANK THEM ETERNALLY my friends Catie And Dan for comming to my rescue! Sooo happy and Ooo I was wearing glasses too! Tali then after watched me and helped me. I am so happy that I have friends that are there to help me. It makes me feel refreshing that they are good friends. But... wouldn't you like to help someone when he/she are drowning?? But They are my friends and I am Eternaly grateful. Happiness. (Note some of these information maybe inaccurate because it was scary.)

Depression, when it’s clinical, is not a metaphor. It runs in families, and it’s known to respond to medication and to counseling.
However truly you believe there’s a sickness to existence that can never be cured, if you’re depressed you will sooner or later surrender and say: I just don’t want to feel bad anymore.
The shift from depressive realism to tragic realism, from being immobilized by darkness to being sustained by it, thus strangely seems to require believing in the possibility of a cure…

-Jonathan Franzen

2004-05-17T19:10:00.000-04:00

A very powerful artisticness hahaha. This image was from Discworld and it was when The Grim Reaper took a kindof... "day-off" so people are supposed to die but they aren't. It was their time though. It says on the sign "Undead... Yes.... Unperson... No" Like this post means something

So today in Massachusetts at 12:00 (Midnight) today Gay marriages became legal which is really good. I mean I am not gay but I support them in every way possible. I really don't get why we don't make it TRUELY legal I mean screw it if it says it in the BIBLE! In the Bible it claims that this Dude I forgotten sorry that he stopped the SUN!! FROM TURNING DAYLIGHT OFF for MANY DAYS!!! If that did happen then everywhere in history we would see this pattern where it was recorded that the sun stopped that it felt like day/night time forever. IMPOSSIBLE!! AHH!! Did God really was a homophobe?? I want gay marriages to happen LOVE IS LOVE!!! Why don't people see that?? Prove to me that it's wrong. People who disagree that gay marriages should be legal say that if it was legal everything would fall and out whole system would die. WAY back when people who opposed interacial marriages said That society WILL FALL!! AND IT NEVER HAPPENED!! LOVE IS LOVE!!

The message here is "Gay...Yes... Unperson...No." SEE!!! SEEE!!???? Don't oppose.

live.love.die

Headache

2004-05-12T19:49:00.000-04:00

I like watermelon I LIKE IT SOME GOOD!!!

Anyways sorry for the lack of updates but I got sick and kept being bombarded with Homework and studies just as usual. Yes, I was sick during the weekend I had a very disturbing stomach virus THAT SPREAD AND DEVOUR ME UNTIL I am no more! And Then I got broughten back to life... again.

RADIOHEAD Heehee

Okay something interesting and making fun of how me are post HMMM... BY JOVE I'VE GOT! HUMOR!!! Of course! HUMOR!! I mean this falling down pain HUMOR!! There is an acutally term for this but I do not remember it now. But This HUMOR!! WOW!! This really shows how sick we are. We laugh at humorous things that are funny and ect. But what is Funny? A lot of people might says jokes and stuff but NO! It's someone elses pain! Of course!! WE LAUGH AT OTHER PEOPLE'S DEMISE!! WHy? I don't know! But we do! A wonderful example of this is A.F.V. America's Funniest Videos! A perfect example because you don't really see them telling jokes they do funny stuff like poses or something BUT THEY ALWAYS SHOW SOMEONE ESLES DEMISE OR FALL!! I mean when you really look at it people falling from a roof isn't funny it's sad and it even have it on television shows THAT PEOPLE LOVE IT!! You chuckle when someone trips but when someone falls down a man hole you drop down laughing! But why? A stupid mistake? Or somehing!? SO many reasons to calculate this reason of werid humor! I mean I like standup comedy like Robin Williams or Margaret Cho (She is so great by the way) but people's falling demise? Hypno? AHH!! I DOn'T KNOW!! PLEASE EXPLAIN!!! The sadness but what can we do? I don't know... But I am just showing people the way well not really... Have Fun!

Hahaha A Good Album THE STROKES, Is This it?

2004-05-03T20:46:00.000-04:00

Razorblade Cross

Whoa I kindof feel weird and then some I don't know why. I think it's just my interesting and SOAP OPERA like Life. AHhhhhh So annoying and yet I cannot stop it. I maybe wrong. I don't know ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So tired and FEEBLE.

Anyways today is going to be a short BLog ENtry because I don't really feel like it for some reason. I DON'T KNOW!! I shall try to make the next one interesting... ANWAYS You know that song by Nine Inch Nails "Closer" That weird one "I want to fuck you like an animal" Yes comming back? Well as I was searching the web for something interesting I found CLOSER TO MARIO Wow they did a really GOOD job making this it's pretty interesting.

So tired lately and I always put it on myself as my friend Dan Said and I don't think I can stop it.

2004-05-02T19:27:00.000-04:00

Dude.... On friday... Was... So.... Incredible... Because... I saw... ~~A Perfect Circle~~... In concert... Don't you know the goodness they instored with EVERYONE!? They were incredible in concert! Soooo Good and the best part is Maynard James Keenan isn't Fake. Like Some singers... (i.e. Good Charlotte, Birtney Spears. and All those Voice enanched Voices..... EVIL FAKERS! Don't Fake it...) He saound soooo Awesome. And if you heard their new CD The Thirteenth Step you might not like the song "The Nurse who loved Me" But they remixed it and it was so much better with better beats and guitarness! WEEEEEEEE!! It was soooo Cool Beans I mean REALLY!!! Everyone around us was smoking POt And EVerything it was kindof scary. I didn't do it! I swear! It was scary but The Concert was sooooo Cool WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Hahahaha I didn't update the post before But Look at the Link BELOW! It's Really Funny The Picture NOT PORN remember it's Hello Kitty!

Right now I am listening to H.I.M. The CD called Razorblade Romance The people at Hot Topic said it was REALLY good because I asked them. ANd I must say just buying this CD is not a mistake it's really Good! It's FunFUn, Man, Dude, Dudette, Women, Boy, Child, ORGANISM as Jacqui said. HeeeHeee HI!!!

Heartagram from H.I.M.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! "In the long run we are all Dead." -Maynard James Keenan... The Quote went something like that...
HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha This Dude once said "Chivalry is dead. And Women killed it." Haha True yes? I dun knowth.

~~It Crossed YES IT DID!! OoOoOoOoOooooooooo WEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Watch me GOoo! Crossing! And More and MOre AND MORe............ And more!~~

2004-04-29T23:02:00.000-04:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I will update this post soon...

2004-04-27T23:18:00.000-04:00

Looks at those check boxes... SEXY? YES!?
You really don't have to check those boxes if you don't want to... ANYWAYS!!
LOOk At me GO!=)

Such boredom consumes me MUHAHAHAHAHA! Do you not feel it?

Here is a LINK that everyone loves..... Porn

2004-04-26T20:48:00.000-04:00

Trippy Yes!? Swirls again and again.

YOu know what I feel like?? PALINDROMES! WEEEEEEE!
Examples: RACECAR (But that's easy stuff)
Did I strap red nude, red rump, also slap murdered underparts? I did!
Dr. Akward
Eve Damned Eden
Evil Olive
God, a wasp saw a dog!
Hell, it's a Toyota still, eh?
He repaid a no-name Pacific Apeman on a diaper, eh?
I prefer pi.
No, Mel Gibson is a casino's big lemon.
On a clover, if alive, erupts a vast, pure evil; a fire volcano

Okay Done Done... MUHAHAHAHA! DId you fear? You should look up THE LONGEST PALINDROME EVER!! It is REALLY SCARY.

OWLS!!

Today at school was kindof tiring from the fact that we FHS get back from vacation. It was kindof stupid and how everything was formed in World Studies... was just wrong. History something so important towards our future, right? So debatable of course. I mean when you know the past mistakes you don't want history to be repeated like Hitler's Holocaust with the genocide thing and everything. Sorry I made fun of television a couple entries ago... I mean I watch it but I don't let it control my life. An America I would define it as... Shops at Wallmart, Never miss a episode of friends ANything. Ahhh. I dun know.

You know what I saw today??? Something interesting! Ahhhh.. I forgot... Maybe I'll tell you during my entry. I keep feeling like I am dropping into oblivion like I am falling all the time but I am really standing still. I keep feeling it during class and for some reason... It helps. Me Concentrate... This need for simplicity and uniformity. I'm sorry I am trying kindof hard to explain my mind in writing but I think every mind is WAY to complex for any web to handle.

I think The Web is made up as sections... 5% is thoughts, research, ect, 15% is stories, games, chatting, programs, ect. And 80% is..... PORN!! AHH!! PORN!! There everywhere and you know what I mean! I mean puberity and everything. The Horror yes? But no... It's apart of life. Yes sex pleasure all that good stuff. Hahahaha. The only animals (That we have proven) has sex for pleasure and not mating, besides Humans, are dolphins. Which is interesting having them as the second biggest brain next to us. I mean I think that dogs and monkies have sex besides mating and BABIES! I mean you know how a male dog humps you and stuff. HAIRY SCARY. MONKIES another reason because they say there related to us and I believe that but some people don't. They match are DNA so CLOSE!!

Show us not an image but yourself.

2004-04-24T18:15:00.000-04:00

Some stuff by dethblud.snowman.ne

I feel kindof Whirly and trippin'. But not really trippin'... SO I feel like a Ninja!

You know whY!? Because I was sneaking with the obvious Mission Impossible Theme song behind it so it won't blow my cover and I was sneaking... LIKE A NINJA!!!! YAY!!!

ANyways people.... The best movie in the world is..... ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. I saw this awesome new Jim Carey movie last Wednsday with two friends. It was such a beautiful movie. I mean the perfection and the awesomeness. It looks so confusing at first but then the Fun and the Comming together BEGINS!! It was so nicely made and as my friend said, "It was directed just like a mind" Awww THANKS DAN DAN! Would you really erase someone base on hatred. So good.

Toasters.... THEY WILL FLY JUST LIKE THE PENGUINS AND TAINT OUR COW MEAT WITH DOOKE!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HOrrible.

Hmmmm I am listening tooooo

The Weakerthans "aside"
Lyrics:
Measure me in metered lines, in one decisive stare,
the time it takes to get from here to there.
My ribs that show through t-shirts and these shoes I got for free;
I'm unconsoled, I'm lonely.
I am so much better than I used to be.
Terrified of telephones and shopping mall,
and knives, and drowning in the pools of over lives.
Rely a bit to heavily on alcohol and irony.
Get clobbered on by courtesy, in love with love, and lousy poetry.
And I'm leaning on a broken fence between Past and Present tense.
And I'm losing all these stupid games that I swore I'd never play.
And it almost feels okay.
Circumnavigate this body of wonder and uncertainty.
Armed with every previous failure, and amateur cartography,
I breathe in deep before I spread these maps out on my bedroom floor.
Leaving. Wave goodbye.
Losing, but I'll try, with the last ways left, to remember.
Sing my imperfect offering.

2004-04-21T00:38:00.000-04:00

I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

So confused.

DoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo DoOoOoOoOoOoOo

2004-04-19T22:29:00.000-04:00

Don't be a Victim of Modern Age

Sorry dudes and dudettes that I haven't updated in a while. I don't really know why... Maybe the stress of school? Or I am just lazy? WELL anyways during my long absence I went to a concert last friday. A local band one! At FHS again. Muhahahahaha! It was fun! But the bands I wanted to see dropped out. (Homestyle and Ill-Informed). Hahahaha we are so intuned with music! It's like we are zombies! Humans are so weird GLAD I AM ONE! Music is everything in life to some people. It understands them once you find a certain type that you like of course. Music dates back SO LONG AGO!

I don't know if I mentioned this before but HERE GOES! Television, TV, the tube, God(TV). These are all names to what society is so hypnotized about. TELEVISON a hopeless waste of a time slot. People... So intuned to this False God that they worship and watch for entertainment. So useless. BILLIONS of people worldwide own a television to only watch with entertainment. Isn't that sad? I mean Do something use full when your sitting down watching senseless TV, like watch something learning stuff. It controls everyone... It controls us, them, you, mother, father, step-father, stepmother, aunts, uncles, strangers, your children, your children's children, your children's children children, hobos, newcasters, meterologists, TV actors, movie Actors, directors, friends, cousins, families, technology, scientists, marinists, botonists, armies, gernerals, doctors, TV AD people, creators, authors, me (I hate it),and more and more and more and more. THE LISTS GOES ON AND ON! Look at what we become. They control on what we think, say, wear. They control us.... Don't be a victim of modern age. Don't be a zombie TV PERSON THAT will once rule the WORLD!! AHH!!! TV!! IT WILL TURN INTO THIS GOOEY SUBSTANCES!! That is of course unstoppable! WE WILL BE IT'S PUPPETS!! PUPPETS!!!!!! MEAT PUPPETS!! hahaha Good band. But anyways.... DIE WITH STATISTICS!!!
I. TV Undermines Family Life
1) Amount of television that the average American watches per day: over 4 hours
2) Percentage of US households with at least one television: 98
3) Percentage of US households with exactly two TV sets: 35
4) Percentage of US households with three or more TV sets: 41
5) Time per day that TV is on in an average US home: 7 hours, 40 minutes
6) Percentage of Americans who always or often watch television while eating dinner: 40
7) Chance that an American falls asleep with the TV on at least three nights a week: 1 in 4
8) Percentage of Americans who say they watch too much TV: 49
9) Percentage of US households with at least one VCR: 85
10) Number of videos rented daily in the US: 6 million
11) Number of public library items checked out daily: 3 million
12) Number of hours of media consumed daily by the average American in 1998: 11.8
II. TV Harms Children and Hampers Education
1) Average number of hours per week that American one year-old children watch television: 6
2) Number of hours recommended by the American Pediatric Association for children two and under: 0
3) Average time per week that the American child ages 2-17 spends watching television: 19 hours, 40 minutes
4) Time per week that parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children: 38.5 minutes
5) Hours of TV watching per week shown to negatively affect academic achievement: 10 or more
6) Percentage of children ages 8-16 who have a TV in their bedroom: 56
7) Percentage of those children who usually watch television in their bedroom: 30
8) Percentage of television-time that children ages 2-7 spend watching alone and unsupervised: 81
9) Percent of total television-time that children older than 7 spend without their parents: 95
10) Percentage of children ages 8 and up who have no rules about watching TV: 61
11) Percentage of parents who would like to limit their childrens TV watching: 73
12) Percentage of day care centers that use TV during a typical day: 70
13) Hours per year the average American youth spends in school: 900
14) Hours per year the average American youth watches television: 1,023
15) Percentage of self-professed educational TV that has little or no educational value: 21
16) Chance that an American parent requires children to do their homework before watching TV: 1 in 12
17) Percentage of teenagers 13-17 who can name the city where the US Constitution was written (Philadelphia): 25
18) Percentage of teenagers 13-17 who know where you find the zip code 90210 (Beverly Hills): 75
19) Average time per day American children spend in front of a screen of some kind: 4 hours, 41 minutes
20) Percentage of 4-6 year-olds who, when asked, would rather watch TV than spend time with their fathers: 54
21) Percentage of young adults who admit to postponing their bedtime for the internet or TV: 55

Hahahaha did you read them? All of them? Amazed? Soon we will all be Doomed. Please don't let THE world be controled by Tv Or else.... PUPPETS!!

Sorry but I really don't feel that welll lately. Only people that I "hang" with cheer me up.

2004-04-12T17:28:00.000-04:00

A Dork Moment! WEEEEE!!! Okay here goes. The Mona Lisa by Leonardo Da Vinci a very astounded and amazing aritist. Everyone thinks that The Mona Lisa is his best painting just because he carried it around everywhere he went! It is kindof true but of course he had others that were better I think. The Mona Lisa a wonderful painting that portrays sfumato which is when the background kindof looks like it evaportated onto the subject. Leonardo was a master at this. As you can see Mona's left side of the portrait is highly elevated than her right which is weird right? But not a conincidence! Because Leonardo was a GREAT respector of the women and divine rights stuff of well WOMEN! Because we should all be equal. Anyways Her Left side of Mona Lisa looks bigger Because it actually represents women so he totally respected them. And this is the weird part. Many people think that Mona Lisa is a Girl but it actually Could be a Man or a really ugly girl or something weird rather. Da Vinci was a master at doing this! And the biggest clue we get is the Egyptian God of Man Fertility! You know who it is!? AMON and the Goddess of women fertility is ISIS but ISIS was commonly known as L'isa And put them together AMON L'ISA Which is scary when rearranged it's THE MONA LISA! Strange isn't it?? Also when you compar Mona Lisa's face with Leonardo Da Vinci it looks like a self portrait. Such weirdness right?? Dork moment Over.

How was my day? It was okay. I mean somethings I rather keep to myself . But anyways it was rather good. I relearned the fact of my friends almost unfortuate death of alcohol poisoning which is really scare and WOW I am really happy she didn't die. Death is a weird example of human society. You don't really know until it happens. You could go to heaven, Hell, Reincarnation, or just nothing. No body knows it's just how it is. Death I think would be a never-ending sleep of slow walking eternity. Also there is the facts of ghosts and ghouls and disturbed spirits. Anything would be acceptable but I Just want one answer. One Solution that should be able to solve everything. Solve all this suffering or so I thought. OUR GOVERNMENT SUCKS!! WE PRAY FOR A DYING LIFE AS THEY DO NOTHING! WHAT IS A GOOD GOVERMENT?? MONEY!? no! SAVING PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT! WE NEED A BETTER HEALTH CARE SYSTEM! WE NEED A BETTER PRESIDENT! WE CAN'T HAVE ONE LIE TO US! WE CAN'T. FOOLISH HUMANS VOTING FOR BUSH THAT LITTLE PERSON SHOULD HAVE DIED FOR THE PAIN THAT HE CAUSED AND DONE NOTHING ABOUT IT!

People shouldn't have to suffer the aches and pain of love. I was so inlove once and I think I still am... I care I really do. But I don't know if she does anymore. Ahhh... The sorrow and pain as my heart weeps. It waxes and wains. Sadness and Sorrow will only slow you down on your path of life. It will hurt but others will keep you oblidge and cheering. I shall try all that I can do when someone is sad...

Everything can't happen. This headache has gone far enough This pain of these illusions cannot be here. Why do I have to suffer where other people get these riches these enjoyments. This headache has gone far enough. I don't want everyone to feel so cold and empty.

Don't destroy out world.

2004-04-11T16:46:00.000-04:00

HAhahahaha! Everyone HAPPY EASTER!
Hello Everyone! Sorry I haven't written in about a couple days. But I must share my information. On Thursday was an Awesome rock concert of local bands. There were a good amount of bands and the first one I saw play was Homestyle with one of my good friends Jeremy was singing and he was wicked. It was so cool finally hearing him sing! He writes good. I mean good GOOD!! GOOOOOOooooD! Like when you drink a chocolate milkshake during a drought for 40 years and you still had no idea how you survived and when you drank that shake it was like Heaven HEAVEN HEAVEnnN! And thats what it sounded like... Like Goodness. And the other bands were good aswell! It was Fun FUN! Not a lot of people went and there should have been more. Only $5.00 at FHS. And the last song this band did was "I Believe in a Thing Call Love" by The Darkness and it was an awesome song! So you can hear it in the background. What made me happy was that they didn't killl it! And everyone was so wild and crazy jumping on stage and everything! IT was really cool beans! SO much Fun!

Friday: It was Fun I mean all I did was go to the mall and played my GOD DDR! Heehee. It was a day off because it was Good Friday when Jesus died and was my friend's birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUI! Nothing really much happened. At 3:00 I went to my dad's car and went to the Train station inorder to go to his house. Ooo Yeah my parents are divorced fun fun isn't it? I mean A crap loads of marriages ends up in a divorce with 1 or 2 years. It's really sad I think. I mean it's a comitment isn't it?? Don't you guys love each other? And if you guys did you married and knew your future would come. I mean come on you should know your lover long enough and if you have any problems just break up but no marry. Anyways I was on the train and it was PAINFUL!! THESE PEOPLE!! Society makes me sickened I mean wow. They are so focused on propaganda and the television. In America our God is the TV. Help us. Help us. Anyways I heard them saying that the war on Iraq is on Terrorism I wanted to kill them some good. I mean out war if that's what it is, is meaningless! It's not Terrorism! It's for OIL. George Bush lied to us. HE lied to them. What an idiot. Never vote for him EVER!! Well to sort this problem out I simply calmed down and talked to them and exposed them the Truth of our society today and how our health care also sucks. And more and more useless info and it was interesting. They looked at me and left and said "What Are You Crazy!?" And I said "Dude you're so ruled by television you don't even know what Crazy is" Done DOne.

Saturday: Work and Work and Work and work and Pain. I feel bad about our health care system all we have if we don't have money is this wonderful health care where we only Pray and the government does NOTHING! We really need to do something about. Help people and Help them. The Sickness would kill and the hospital wants money to treat. What's better money? Or saving a life? I know money runs our world but it isn't the most important thing in the world I think. I hope. I want to help people.

Sunday (Today): Happy Easter. Don't Fret children.

"I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me."-H. By Tool
I miss her so much.

"I've never meant to do all the things to you.
And I want to say before I go.
I just want you to know.
I've found a Reason for me.
To change what I used to be.
A reason to start over a new.
And the Reason is you." -The Reason by Hoobastank

All I need right now are my friends thank you so much for supporting me and make me happy and now I am trying to make everyone happy. Peace everyone.

Can you tell me?...... Can you show me?...... Please? This headache has gone far enough. I don't want it I just need it. To breathe to feel. To know I'm alive. I need them not Family never family. They just don't understand.

2004-04-06T18:06:00.000-04:00

This is my God. My Idol YES I KNOW!! It's a machine!!! Hahahahaha! What are you going to do now JESUS!? HUH HUH!? "Thou shalt worship no other God" Hee Hee I killed the comandment. See DO you know what it is!? It's called Dance Dance Revolution! It is sooooooo Cool BEANS! See when the machine screen sends an arrow. It has to go all the way up to this sync thing and you have to press it with your feet. Now I think I am pretty Good because I play Heavy. There are now four levels, it used to be 3. They are beginnier, Light, Stantard, and Heavy! As you can tell they go from smallest to biggest LEVEL! There are new ones like Non-stop mode or ONI mode which are very interesting. See the machines they grade you on how well you do. How many perfects, greats, goods, Boo's, Misses, and Okays. And they calculate and give you a FUN graDE! This is my drug, my obession. So much FUN!! First time I played all I see is ARROWS! WEEE! My friends notice my obsession and they bought something FOR ME!!! A lot of my friends pitched in to buy me a METAL pad!!! SEE IT'S METAL! Well You don't see but you can imagine. It was $140 and a lot of people pitched in. It made me so happy. =) WEEEE! It's so refreshing to have really good friends. If you didn't contribute IT'S OKAY YOU GUYS ARE STILL MY TRUE FRIENDS!!!=) Anyways "Sweetness" Is playing in the background. A good song. REALLy Good by JImmy Eat World. Good times good times. Doo Doo Dooooo

School was good today. It went by kindof fast. I stayed after school and watched my friend release his anger in a talkitive mouth. He was really angry that he got a C in his research paper which I thought was REALLY good. It should have deserved a B+ or something. ANd I kindof wanted to know why but Nope. My friend says He is going to kill her if he talks to her. I mean she is a bitch. He thinks Ms. Doncov is actually purposely forcing his grade down because of using METAPHORES in a World History paper. What is up with that? Using metaphores is perfectally legal. I mean it's a research paper. "It's world studies no English" She is so much poooo. Well I wanted to ask her why she gave him a C and I took the paper and went up there to ask. But when I was walking towards her class room I was reunited with my friend Jeremy. A really cool beans guy. He's in a band which I am going to see Thursday, April 8th. Can't wait. Anyways he is a really nice guy and very down to earth. He gave me COFFEE actually how I liked it in the morning of my Birthday. It made me happy. OOOOooo It made me happy some goood. Yes with three O's. Sorry that my last post was scary and sad. BUT it's okay THe happy is back! Muhahahahaha! She didn't want to talk to me. Understanding before. It's Dan's problem and I undertsood that she didn't want to see me for Dan's Essay. I MEAN MY FRIEND!!

Understand that all mistakes are made because I am ASIAN!

Have a nice day.

2004-04-03T23:25:00.000-05:00

Where a woman's plea comes to an end,
As a sharp gunshot cuts through the air.
It becomes a normal act just to pretend-
To convince oneself there's nothing to hear.

When the world grows silent
And the candle melts the last wax folds.
And we're I'm left in cold confinement
Left only to tear at my bloodstained clothes.

When the hope burns out
And the last cinder dies.
The world's left with only doubts
Where all you hear are endless lies.

People shouldn't kill themselves nor hurt themselves. I am really sorry for what I had done and wish it never happened. I've learn not to interfere anymore. I hope you forgive me... Maybe everyone does die alone.

And those shattered fragments hits our world again and again. They are the tears of other Worlds weeping at our destruction. How we killed this world is horrifying. Is this what we call civilization and advancement? To only ourselves? Don't they even care? As those tears hit us we do nothing and move on because someone will flash it all away.

2004-04-02T17:45:00.000-05:00

Isn't it beautiful?? I feel so much dorkish so I must express my knowledge as to my abilities. Maybe you'll understand when I get through. The sprial above is called the fibonacci numbers that goes with the golden spiral above. The fibonacci numbers go 1,1,2,3,5,8,13.... So on and so forth how it works is simple. the first two digits 1 and 1 add up and make 2 and then 1 and 2 add up and make 3 then 2 and 3 add up to make 8. Do you understand?? It's simple. This number goes on and on and creates this awesome pattern and it suddenly creates the golden spiral. Do you get it?? I mean this is so important come on!!! It's in nature everywhere! The spirals patterns and this number 1.618 is one of the most important numbers ever. I mean this is more important than fibonacci. 1.618. It's everywhere. For example beehives when you count the males and females to a ratio I mean females are more than males and when you count them and do all this stuff. It comes down to 1.618:1 ALL THE TIME! See the diameters in a spiral? Measue them with the big ones to the small ones and you get a ratio of 1.618:1. Isn't it AWESOME!? It's everywhere. Especially in humans EVERYWHERE! When you measure your exact height and measure the length of your belly button down your toes EXACT you get a ratio of 1.618! Shoulder to your fingertips and your elbow to your figure tips GUESS WHAT YOU GET!? 1.618 also known as PHI!!!!!!!!!! PHI!!!! THE DIVINE PROPORTION!!! One man who knew it so well was Leonardo Da Vinci. He created the Vivuturvian MAN! A PErfect alignment of a person's 1.618! I mean come on! Isn't it really something?? You see it everywhere. 1.6180339887

A dork Moment

Now to tell you about my day only if you want. But I want to I want to some good. Yes today was interesting because at the end of school at 1:00 was a giant intoxicating meat people human rally to cheer on a senseless sport that has to be positive. A place where sound has no boundries for one hour. For one hour Doom has occured and everyone smiles. Everyone's spirit rises it's so annoying. I don't get the senseless screaming and ignorance. All I can do is just wonder around school for one hour. I talked walked and calmed myself. I didn't really do much at all. AHHH!!! I love my friends they're so nice. =) I must thank them here over the years THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! You made my life so much fun and I understand a lot of things now. I can't really mention them all because so much and there might be someone left behind! AHH! SO I would like to thank everyone! They make me so happy. It's what I live for.

2004-03-31T20:23:00.000-05:00

RAMEN!! WEEE! MMmmmm Goodness and it's CHICKEN!

POWER RANGERS!!! Randomness.

AHH!! TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! Well one day I decided that it really should be taken over to our leader... It's an alien can't you TELL!? NOT GEORGE!! Well he could be... An IDIOT! AHH!

I like to wear stuff otherwise I'll be naked for the world! Wouldn't you like THAT!?? Me naked! And whipped by THE MOOSE! Yes it would be fun!

It represents censorship. People and tihngs shouldn't be censored I mean why? Like music with censorship overrules the first constitution means it's unconstitutional. Well I think it's the first thing.. FREEDOM OF SPEECH!! I mean who cares we are going to learn them any way. I mean swears. Wow.. So much badness. I know they're bad and everything but they are so intwined with out world that everybody uses them! I mean bad stuff like when you use retard as an insult and you really don't look at it. I think that's really stupid and mean. I kindof understand the sexual organ or parts part but I really don't get speech not a lot by the way. We are so intuned with the TV. Why we can't think so we watch TV with mindless and senseless violence with more and more and more violence. And America wants to censor pubic hair of a women when we see violence. (Black Crowes their album AMORICA. Research it. Or i'll tell you ummm There album cover has a ladies pubic hair just a little with a lady wearing a thong YOU WILL SEE IF RESEARCHED! Not very WHOA!! But Wallmart, K-mart, and other places won't sell it. I mean what's wrong with!? We see violence everyday with death and then some and it's less then a woman's pubic hair!? I mean violence evil and poison.

Now for randomness. We should have a meat tree!! It would be so COOL! We would have no more hunger!! It would be artificial meat!! SO NO KILLING ANIMALS!!

So how are your hormones??-From the ultimate MOOSE!

Clock

2004-03-29T22:39:00.000-05:00

I still can't think. Everything is driving me with full speed through a dimesional gate way of pure confusion. They are always behind the wheel taking everything for granted. They do not wish to be disturb with there speed. I do not know what will happen but I am not afraid. Pure confusion is fun.

A Jhonen Moment.

Read Them All.

2004-03-29T20:05:00.000-05:00

Doo Doo Doo Doo. HMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. WEEEEEEE! Oooooo Ahhhhhh.... Mmmmmmm? Ummmmm... Zzzzzzzzzz... SSSSSSssssssssssssss... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllloooooooo. Now that I got that out of my system. DDR! Wait what? What was that? DDR! Whoa it did it again! DDR! Ahh! The pther side of me. It calls for... DDR! AHH! Dance AHH! I must dance away and make meself skinnyier. DDR! Whoa it's scary. Today was fun because I went to the mall and played.... YOU GUESSED IT! DDR! WEEEE! It is NEW NOW!! IT is DDR Extreme if you guys know what I am talking about! It is really cool beans man. SO Much FUN!

IT IS PASTULIO! This ZIT shall rule the world. Oooo Your God I am already hypnotized because of it's gooey ness. MMmmm MUST OBEY!!
HE AGREES!

Anyways.... George Bush Sucks. But what sucks more is MCAS! AH! Pain and misery of more thousands of stars lost in space colliding to make billions of little shards that collide and make this test! Wasn't that interesting? You know it was. Wow You're still READING! WOw! You must be so intuned. I bought stuffage and watch some movies. DONNIE DARKO! SO MUCH GOODNESS! Everyone should watch that movie it's Sooooo good. Wow it's about Time Travel and.... WOW! It's just awesome. We should be able to see the future but perfection will RULE all but sometimes perfection is good. But being able to see the future may lead to new possibilities. When you see the future you can always change it for the better or for the worse. We should have the power to do so but sadly we cannot. I do not think we can ever. Because who actually decides and shows us the future God? Heh... Wow. If you really believe then PROVE.

I do not want the world. I want the Piggy. I want it some good. Mmmmmm... World would taste Good. BUT PIGGIES FOR ME!

2004-03-27T20:12:00.000-05:00

OOOOOoo! He Controls ALL!! MUHAHAHAHA!

PIGGY!! It shall rule the earth with the Lepreguins! MUHAHAHA! PIggies are facsinating creatures with the ability to fly like black condors on a snowy day during the genius hour of pie day. YES! NO SENSE!Someone is going to eat me... LIKE THE TOOTH FAIRY! IT flies. It Glides! It does the loop dee loop! And ballet! MUHAHAHA! I don't really get tooth fairies. They fly and grab teeth and replace them for money it's like teeth are something kinky and maybe it satisfy their sexual appeitite. Weird. My mommy says "Don't worry the tooth fairy will give it to YOU!" I tested my theory but NOO!! I didn't get anything special. I didn't get what I wanted a CAR! All I got was a quarter. Grrrrr.

OO! I am so happy! I made a new friend ON the Wired (Net) During INK STUFF! IT was FUN! And she is really cool beans! I MEAN WOW BEANS!! LIke the ones who jump! And going Ooooooo! Ahhhh. Those are really cool beans. She was a MOOSE And I was the CAKE! SHe ate me. And I got digested some good. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee! That's what You get. A tidal wave of WEEEEEEEEE!

MUHAHAHAHA! FEAR THE Z? Fear it some good!

Yes It saw a squirrell

2004-03-24T14:22:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. School was very slow today because of it's slowness I get to be consumed by sleep and some coughing. This sore throat process has really given me a chance to notice that many people are sick across the world. And with this delirious situation and this good feeling all around I decided to heal everyone! With my awesome super might! So I can actually use my obvious Chinese healing powers to heal everyone as I say my incantation and Jesus himself out of his misery. Eat your heart out Peter Pan! I mean....JESUS!

You know what's really weird? Jesus. Because many people are sacrifice on their beliefs but Jesus is the only one that sticks out. I mean who even knows did Jesus actually exist? I mean in very long ancient times scientist figured out that the Gods and Goddess in Roman and Greek times were absolutely fake because these four people made them up so that they may have order instead of chaos. Those four guys made Romans and Greeks lives structured through this religion that they even said through their writings that they are fake. So who knows if Jesus really existed. And if he did he was probably a person with screwed up ideas that eventually lead to his down fall and his followers. It is said in the bible that Jesus or God Or Someone with holy powers forced the sun to stop and if it did happen everyone in the world would have witnessed it and there would definitely be some sort of writing of some ancient maybe Chinese or Indian texts saying that they have witnessed this phenomenon before them! The bible isn't even correct I mean the bible doesn't mention anything about the dinosaurs and cave men and so on and so forth. If Jesus had been alive I think that he saw our corruption and thought that he wanted to change this happening to us so he maybe made up these rules and stories that maybe didn't even mean to go this far. There is no proof that God even exists and that science understands all and is not meant for humans to understand God. The facts are there right before these priests and saints and believers and they just don't even think about it. It sometimes makes me so mad that there were other people who had beliefs but were dead and not even recognized. What's weird is to have the symbol a crucifix with Jesus nailed onto it. I do not get it because this horrifying symbol is kindof scary. They should have chosen another one.

Maybe in this totally different fascination that people do know that there might be no God but only has faith and wants to believe that there is one. Maybe Jesus wanted to create hope and then some for the people and maybe wanted it to go this far. For humans to have hope and pray something is a good thing. Faith can help us all.

There is always two sides to everything. I just put in my 2 cents. Thank you for reading this long and maybe right or wrong thought.

Jesus will bring light upon the most darkend day. Was this his intention? To place hope? To lie? A figure shouldn't lie.

2004-03-23T13:47:00.000-05:00

The sickness.... It consumes me while I grow my wings.

It watches you.

2004-03-22T18:30:00.000-05:00

I really don't feel so good. My throat hurts like A THOUSANDS SUNS COMBINGING INTO A HUNDRED SUPER NOVAS WITH BLACK HOLES ALL AROUND!! OOoo The pain it causes me. I can't even talk with pain. Eat without pain. And just more pain. It hurts. It hurts me some good.

I am trying to find a good graphhics card maybe so I can play this really fun game. Gunbound. It looks SO GOOD! But I need a nice supporting graphics card even though it says that my computer has a really good one! It still says I need one. Damn them! Damn them some good.

As you might have noticed I had a documentary on the...Lepreguins! The curse race that has a destiny of death and the destruction of all. Isn't life grand? YES!

2004-03-21T18:29:00.000-05:00

I tried doing some new stuff with my blog. But it really isn't working out like I thought. The background image before you might have saw was FLCL. It looked cool BEANS!! But everything was killing the web. The font was funny and then I tried fixing it and putting it back to normal but NNNNooooo!! The web just had to be bitchy. ERRRR!! AHHH! WEEE! I went to the mall today and missed my friends party which I really wanted to go to but my dad made me work. OH GODDAMIT! And when I went to the mall I got a cool shroom candle. It was cool beans. I am so tired and dead. I almost threw up across the pavement but I didn't It was sad but I didn't. If I did I would sit there and laugh. There was no other reason not to do so. I think someone hates me some good... I want to hug a monkey some good and be so excited and the squeezing and the pain and the turning and spin might I have caused to this MONKEY!

I think camera's trap our souls into eternal oblivion. I think camera's takes a little bit of your life each time. Scientists of course doesn't believe this even though we have no proof but I think it does it does it some good. So I take picture and destroy all. Snapshot was orginaly a hunting term.

At school I analyze people. Well sometimes. I just think and watch. Isn't that FREAKY!? But sometimes I just don't know people I don't hang out with them long enough. It takes time. I analyze the little things.

LEPRECHAUNS SHALL RULE THE WORLD!! SITTING ON PENGUINS WITH BEAVER TAILS!! They shall rain doom on your pitiful city!! And the GO DOOOOOOOOM!!! AHHH! And let's not forget the raping and the massive orgy of rape and then some! You see the secret of penguins is that they can fly with their beaver tails. The tail of the penguin is occupied by the little green leprehcauns. It's a symbiotic relationship and they go together. You see leprechauns can't fly without the penguins as the penguins are poor. Gold coins usually deals with the too. Sometimes if you live through the experience this happening to your city you can see that the leprechauns merge with the penguins. Forming a rare sepcimen called....Lepreguins. Ooo the horror. As the leprechauns lust for chaos and sex the penguins enjoy the horror infront of them. Now if these little crittes come around you will now because the skies will either turn red for blood or green for the leprechauns. These creatures hail from Ireland and The artic. The beaver tails comes from the fact that penguins and beavers are most definatly related.

Isn't my head GREAT!?

Trippyness.

2004-03-18T18:28:00.000-05:00

Doo Doo Doo DOO! I have this funny song stuck in me head. It's a weird song cause the singer sounds weird!!!! AHHH!!! They are The darkness! The song is "I believe in a thing called love!" weird song but it's fun to sing and I think I am going insane because of it! The guitar is sooo nicely done but his voice is soooo butt ugly! But otherwise it's a good song. "TOUCHING YouUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Touching MeEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Touching YOu GOD you're touching YOOooooooooUU! I believe in a thing called love! Just listen to the rhythm of my heart!" Such weirdness. AH! So anyways. I roamed around school naked as always. Just saying FREEDOM!! Well not really.... MY family is funny! My friend right now is being pained all the time! PAIN OF A THOUSAND SUNS!! We had a peer tolerance thing for sophmores it was interesting what they are trying to do. Help people understand the minority while other people like the whites are getting anything in return or something like that. People are weird when they do things like this because of this stereotypes is not certain. Even calling someone that is the least stereotypical and then explaining it out like that was a stereotypical complement only concerning those certain kinds of people IS THE SAME THING AS STEREOTYPICALism. I think anyways. But sometimes I think I am wrong on what I say. It's veird... Veird VEIRD!

Caffiene is good for the soul.
Homework isn't.

Can you feel the emotion through the air?

2004-03-17T20:45:00.000-05:00

Look closely.
Hello! I changed the song into Weezer. They are good! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I did a lot of homework and sleep... A lot of sleep. I was angry because we still have school. It was snowing alot and snow and snow and snow annd SEX!! I mean snow... Well same thing. Hee Hee!! Then there was a fire in the girl's bathroom during Callaboration. It was funny but interestingly annoying. We waited outside for about 30 minutes. AHH!! The painful coldness and unfinsihed homework lingured in the air. But It was alright because we were all over imaginated all...over. If jesus was a cow hamburgers would be Dookie! AHHH THE PUPPY!!

Besides from the pain I had recieved as my punished I actually hurt people with the Puppy. Just about everyday we lie to ourselves to make themselves happy. If we only confront us to the truth we wouldn't be so blinded that the fact on how much our world sucks. But when we concluded that our world sucks then we can do something about it. We live from the past to make sure we don't do the same mistakes so our future will be promising.

My day yesterday was interestingly enough ewwie... We watched a movie called Dreamcatcher is was good but it was nastY!! AHHH!! The aliens came out of there ass and they were worm penis's that had big teeth!!! AND THEY KILL!! OOOOoo HOW THEY KILL!! THEY GOoooo "Gurgle I EAT YOU WITH MY BRITISH ACCENT!!!!" We are all twisted. And cereal forever!!!

Recomendation:FLCL
Another really good anime is FLCL SOOOO GOOD! SO GOOD!! It might seem confusing but it's okay because you'll get it by the end of the final sixth episiode, yes only six. It is just seems like these random things popping up but as you enter deeper into the series like the 3 episode you begin to understand and make guesses and then the guesses come to life and you pee and cream in you pants!!!

In the middle the girl in the red is an alien, the one on the right is the main character and the robot on the left came out of the boy's head!! WOW!! Isn't it wierd! GUITARS!!! A TIDAL WAVE OF JUBILATION!!!! Do the Jubilation DANCE!! DOo DOO DOO DOO Doo DOO!!!! SPIN! WEEEEEE!

2004-03-16T17:03:00.000-05:00

You know what I noticed....? Trigun is a really good anime. It is so wellly created and everything! It's awesome and funny!!! And it has a reall strong story line. It's about Vash the Stampede and he destroyed a whole city and now there is a bounty on his head of 60 billion dollars for a man impossible to catch. The wierd thing is that he never kills anybody. Ever.... Wierd isn't it? But reallllly good!!!
Recomendation:Trigun!!
Anime is good for you!

I see the world in different eyes than you do. I notice things that aren't there. I analyze and I conduct. I scan and I see. I see everything in a different light than people do. I see the world from a distance. I watch the sun shine across the world and kills all. I watch people waste away. I watch my shadows comming alive and surrounds everyone. We always imagine what we want to be but it doesn't ever come true. I feel my skin changing infront of me. I stick my hand into the darkness of the world and I feel it's coldness. I watch the world past before my eyes as everyone comes towards there doom. I do not recognize this vessel before but his voice seems so familiar. I attempt to reassemble my damaged eyes into what I call my soul and long forgotten whisper.

Do you see it? I hope you do...
Z?

2004-03-15T18:44:00.000-05:00

Close the World, TxEn Eht NepO.

2004-03-15T17:22:00.000-05:00

I did something new right now. I made it so my archives are weekly instead of monthly so if you want to start all over again, not like you do, you can just click and you're good. Isn't the picture above kindof trippy? It's like oblivion consuming all natural matter. And it's BLUE!!! So much fun and juicy goodness. I bought two new CD's they are Switchfoot "The beautiful let down" and Tool "Opiate". They are both really good and very good and goood and some more good and good. I smile and smile.

I wonder sometimes why I watch the world pass by before me. I wonder if time is sped up around them but not me. Our society today is so overwhelmingly disgusting and stupid. We are so intuned with money. That shouldn't run our world plus money isn't everything. But how the government looks at it and how society treats it, money is everything. Credit cards, check, dollar bills are nothing without the concept behind it all. If there is a God I don't think it intened for this to happen. Even though God is so happy right now because of our human life because we can CHOOSE. That's what god likes. But I really wonder if there is one....

Now Red oblivion consumes all.

2004-03-14T21:52:00.000-05:00

I took another test of shadows and what type am I and I got...

You are a human shadow. If a loved one needs you,
you are always right at his or her heels! Your
deep social connection with human beings
produces your qualities of genuine caring and
charisma. However, at times you are naive to
the true nature of your loved ones. Remember
that humans' gift of free will does not always
lead them in wise directions. But your essence
of love and friendship represent the other
precious gifts of humanity. Overall you are a
strikingly valuable and innocent being who has
a lot to give.(please rate my quiz cuz it took
me for freaking ever to create)

What Kind of Shadow Are You? (with gorgeous pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-03-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

I got a new song. It's AFI "bleed black" Here are the lyrics...

I am exploring the inside, I find it desolate
I do implore these confines, now, as they penetrate, "recreate me"
I'm hovering throughout time, I crumble in these days
I crumble, I cannot, I cannot find reflection in these days

(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust

I am destroyed by the inside, I disassociate
I hope to destroy the outside, it will alleviate and elevate me
Like water flowing into lungs, I'm flowing through these days
As morphine tears through deadened veins, I'm numbing in these days
So...

(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust

I know what died that night, it can never be brought back to life
Once again, I know
I know I died that night and I'll never be brought back to life
Once again, I know

(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust
So...

(If you listen) Listen, listen
(Listen close) Beat by beat
(You can hear when the heart stops) I saved the pieces
(When it broke) And ground them all to dust

[]This is a very good song I love it good[]
I just found out something about my friends. They both broke up. They were so beautiful together. I love them so much. I often wonder why... But then I figured. The boy did the breaking up part he said that she kept changing. I agreed but... I couldn't make myself believe. I kindof had a way of making them come together in the beginning but now I seemed it failed. Beside she right now is very sick very sick I don't know what to say...

I feel so sad... I feel so painful... I feel like I did it...

2004-03-14T08:49:00.000-05:00

I went and took a personality type quiz thing from my friend dan P. His is apathy and mine is...

You represent... insanity.
You're quite a quirky little creature. You're
emotions are varying. You may appear childish
and innocent, but you have a tendency to freak
out. You're incredibly random, but it's good
to be unique. People know you're an odd one,
but you certainly don't mind.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
I never knew I was a girl!

2004-03-13T22:26:00.000-05:00

AH!! Wow.... I went to a party and it was fun. On the 33rd floor! IT WAS COOL BEANS!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! It was my friend's sweet 16th. It was beautiful. It was FUN! and Dancing! It was really good. We had food, cake, drinks, Foosball, and PING PONG!! Wow I suck at it. It was FUN!! FUN!! FUN!!

Next day I worked. Oooo the horror. The pain. I was so tired. I couldn't think I was afraid that I would fall down on the floor throw up and die right infront of the Chinese Billionare. Wow she was rich. The world as we know it suffers from food. Food is a wonderful thing. So many recipes and everything. Who would have know that combining these little items and creating a wonderful food with of course the decorations. I think my dad's house is killing me. Oh yeah My parents are divorced. I see God in my bed room.

What was it like to see
The face of your own stability
Suddenly look away
Leaving you with the dead and hopeless?

Eleven and she was gone.
Eleven is when we waved good-bye.
Eleven is standing still,
Waiting for me to free him
By coming home.

Moving me with a sound.
Opening me within a gesture.
Drawing me down and in,
Showing me where it all began,
Eleven.

It took so long to realize that
You hold the light that's been leading me back home.

Under a dead ohio sky,
Eleven has been and will be waiting,
Defending his light,
And wondering...
Where the hell have I been?
Sleeping, lost, and numb.
So glad that I have found you.
I am wide awake and heading home.

Hold your light,
Eleven.
Lead me through each gentle step by step
by inch by loaded memory.

I'll move to heal
As soon as pain allows so we can
Reunite and both move on together.

Hold your light,
Eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step
By inch by loaded memory
'till one and one are one, eleven,
So glow, child, glow.

I'm heading back home.

[]What song is this? I know but I wonder if you do? Tell me through chatterbox[]

Isn't this one beautiful. I will make my next blog better. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DAN P. I kill your computer with the doom of pictures and everything! The artwork above is http://www.tonykoehl.com He is awesome

2004-03-11T20:44:00.000-05:00

This is going to amaze you. It's a RACE!!!! OF TEXT!

Slowness is Me.. Ooo I am slow

SNAIL POWER!

Faster I am A BROOM!

I am Jesus!

I am the SUN!

Faster than JESUS!

Logo my butT!

In wish I was faster

I am a CAR!

I am GOD!

2004-03-11T17:04:00.000-05:00

I have a new song... It's The Used. If you have been keeping up with me then... You are a stalker or a good friend. New songs updated and tomarrow shall be seen through the eyes of a ghost and doookie... THE PUPPY!

Tomarrow is one of my really good friend's birthday party. It's her sweet 16th on March 12th is her PARTY! Ooo I repeated myself. That was interesting. I love you MAGGIE!! I love you juicy good. The party is going to be in a nice fancy place on a nice fancy floor like the 32nd. It's going to be FUN!! I have nice black and SHINY pants and nice button down shirt with a blue jacket and a Mr. Grinch green TIE! YAY!!

My love for my friends burn like a thousands sun.... OW! THEY BURN!!! They collide and make a BOOM noise and it hurts but it's love.

2004-03-11T15:31:00.000-05:00

Can't think but I can't complain.

In...Out....In...Out...In...Out...In...Out...In...Out...

One day the sky shall fall and then the I shall fulfill my dream.... Prying opening my Third Eye...

Your job today is to make it happy.

2004-03-11T12:58:00.000-05:00

I watch you sleep with the PUPPY OF DOOM!! He might look cute but he is deadly when I say Dookie... AHH AHH!! THE PAIN!! AHH!! BUT I TYPED IT PUPPY!! NOO!! YOU STILL KNEW!! DAMN YOU!!! I TRAINED YOU TOOO WELL! AHH!! Isn't it cute... Now pain again... "dookie" AH!

I like this song that's playing right now. Kindof creepy ain't it? But other than that I like it good. OOo I set up a new chatter box and it's COOL BEANS! I can talk and then some I thought it was pretty cool cause I browsed around the web trying to find cool stuff to put on my counter. So I put a tracker, music, a poll, chatter box thing, and maybe some more. O! Do you see the clock?? Isn't it neato? Now you know Jesus. Blog is funny.

My day was pretty interesting today but sucks now. Well to start off I went to school where everything is perscribed like this perscribed enviorment. We have a half day because it's march no day offs just half days. THEN I had a split for my teeth which sucks sooo much ass.

I don't like the government because of how it's structure I don't llike governments in perticular. There is no such thing as anarchy sadly enough. Because anarchy is a government where there is none and you can do whatever you wants which means total chaos. Anarchy itself is a rule so anarchy contradicts itself because to have anrachy is to have a government and anarchy means having none but you're still following that same type of rule.

Random: I wonder why people give you medication when you don't really want it. I like seeing things and becoming all hyper and then some. I don't want to take thorazine and take my world away. I want to see what this can take me.

I kindof noticed that maybe you don't know me... Here is some infomation:
Name: Winson
Race: Asain (YES I AM ASAIN! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Sex: Male
Eye color: Brown with glasses!
Hair color: Black
Height: 5'8ish
Weight: 128 (OOoo I am skinny.)
Age= Old enough.
Favorite things: Invader Zim (sadly it's canceled.... Damn Nick...), Music like Tool and weird heavy rocky and punk stuff, DDR!! YES!!! DANCE DANCE!! I play on maniac.

Jesus is behind the sofa and is watching you!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Define and Find God for me.

...Erase ME...

2004-03-10T20:07:00.000-05:00

"Eraser"

need you
dream you
find you
taste you
fuck you
use you
scar you
break you
lose me
hate me
smash me
erase me

2004-03-10T18:38:00.000-05:00

It's Lain. She watches you. And is everything.

2004-03-10T07:51:00.000-05:00

Grrr. Me in Skool. Want to kill cheerleader. GRR!! I don't like cheerleaders... Rumor has it that cheerleaders a defile race of the humans are low life creatures sent out to be nothing but embrace there stupidity and cry out the letters of there language. They are like human medication but some people don't like medication like me and wants to say unhappy by the fact of there high school team. Everyone watches them in awe because of there anorexic or bulimic way of life just to become popular or something. So much much dookie as they are filled with the fact that everyone needs happy but happiness can kill!! I mean the serotonin can destroy. Happiness is but a waxened two headed baby. It's over rated in other words.

Entertainment is good. Like Anime. Hee Hee... I like anime. What amazes me most that it is better than US creations of Doom. Not only in better animation but anime actually has a better grip on bringing the audience in. What blows my mind is this Beautiful anime... Lain.

It is so awesome because it has so many ways to know it, to understand what Lain really Is.

recommendation: Serial Experiments Lain.

Society tends and tries to understand what cannot be thought. Science: A number one way of understanding everything. Everything leads up to science and not God. My friend, Matt, has a dad who bows down to the bible in every way possible. He scares me so much. "Science is people's way of understanding God." What the fuck is wrong with him? How does he know if there is one? As he seen God? No. Has he seen what potentials is God? Yes the Bible. THE BIBLE IS NOT GOD IT IS ONLY A WAY OF LIFE!! What a fuckhead.

In...Out....In....Out....In....Out....In...Out....

Sorry for swears it's just because I'm Asian. This is Winson Wong signing off.

2004-03-09T22:50:00.000-05:00

Um... Hello. Welcome to this wonderful world of mine. I don't really know what I am doing things here might become random and I hope people may read this.... This is my life in text and if you want to jump into my brain ask and I shall say "If it burns then it Burns..." You want me to tell you about today? Well here it is....

School a society where nothing is happening and everything has a point but the point dies as you are a student. There is no point to school but to explore ideas of new life as you begin to know about the outside world you get jobs that match you criteria and when that happens you work and work and work and eventually die but probably many things happen between them. I go to school... It's boring I learn Latin and math and science and then some. I explore and I died little by little. School is the basic principle of human life. No school means no money and no money means no Life. Or whole society is structured by this... School. All school can be is a big social matter because all there friends are there like... a mall but with learning.

If you believe in a world that there should be no laws what so ever and you think it would be peaceful like one of best friend Dan then you should burn in my stomach acid. If there is a world where there is no laws then chaos would emerge and destroy massive amounts of confusion would explore the world where we would be there helpless trapped by the society itself that becomes destroyed from NO LAWS! We need then no matter how stupid, annoying, and unjust they are.

I sleep a lot now. And everytime I sleep I witness everything I witness God I witness my people crumble I witness that I would vanish and when I am gone nothing happens and no one knows.

They say you are what you eat... That means I'll be you by Dinner.

Isn't it CUTE!? MUHAHAHAHAHA!